Would you want this raiding your tomb?
Video game films….. yep they are still for the whole part, chronically shit. Remarkably we came close to a good one earlier this year with Ready Player One in which happily, I can now report that I was wrong about the film going onto being a Box Office flop. It means that potentially, Hollywood will be more willing to try different things again and we the public get better choice in gaming films going forward.
However there was another film based on a gaming franchise to rear its head onto the big screen this year, Tomb Raider and oh my….
It was easy to not get excited about the latest attempt at Tomb Raider when it was due for release during March 2018. The trailer was about as gripping and exciting as you would expect sadly; Evil Orgnaisation blah blah, dead dad, blah blah, some action and shit collapsing. The film included the look from the recent game reboot and some of the ridiculous torture porn which I’ve come to associate the new series with too. But it was left unwatched. It was while at a friend’s house, he of course suggesting we putting it on for a laugh, that I even gave Tomb Raider: non Angelina-Jolie version a look at all.
So how will we get to our arse-kicking raider of the tombs we know and love? Well turns out Daddy Croft (Dominic West) via the gift of early narration uncovered a weird japanese lady ruler who held the power of life and death was buried alive and now a naughty bunch of bastards called Trinity are trying to dig up said lady to use her killing powers. But lo, he’s dead and Lara Croft (played by Alicia Vikander this time round) grows up to be a well-rounded asshole.
An asshole who hasn’t a pot to piss in and entirely obnoxious in almost everything she does.
She also never signed a piece of paper to inherit her father’s insane wealth because of….. why? No, no, we’ll come back to that (and the damned “fox hunt” bollocks) later. It’s too tempting to rush into the problems with this…. Patience. Continue reading →
