Episode 13: Best of…..Something

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Because it’s christmas time, and it’s the time to give, we are proud to release this extended edition of the audio noise file, where the best bits are played back from both the audio and written tomes of silly, for your drinking and fornicating pleasures. Well no-one ever really tells me what they truly want for the festive occasion so this will have to do. It’s either that or a book token. And I’d have to lend money from you to get the book token….

As usual you can subscribe to the show via the feed URL: https://lordofleisure.com/podcasts/feed.xml which you place carefully into your program of choice such as the free programs Juice or Doppler.

You also have the choice of searching the iTunes store, searching using either Paul Hughes, or Ooh Sometimes and subscribing using the software.

If you like what you hear or you don’t then please let us know at: podcast@oohsometimes.com and we’ll respond at some point.

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Friday’s alright for sleeping

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Like the inevitable rise and setting of the sun, the tide of the sea changing and the stupidly absurd rush to the supermarkets to buy everything before it’s all gone simply as they are shut for one day over Christmas; here is another update on what’s new in the life of the Lord of Leisure.

Friday didn’t exist until 1 O’clock this afternoon after a going to bed late, furiously trying to sort out the UberBeast of the machine at home while writing that little synopsis of the Golden Jigsaw puzzle. One venture was successful; the other was not so joyful, and quite annoying.

You will see the results of that in a future post, one which will be strictly for the computer people out in the world but it will contain information for those who are none technical as this will in fact be something you will have to deal with in the future yourselves, and not just when you get a new machine as what most people tend to do these days (providing of course they can afford anything anymore.)
So now some of you will be quaking in your boots awaiting the post of doom, I’ll move onto more seasonal things.

Until next Thursday I shall be away from work, working on other nice things such as packing for the trip away, which shouldn’t take long, and still trying desperately to think of the last few bits for only 3 people now, the rest have been sorted with various bits of tat, normally the things that people receive because you cannot possibly think of anything else they would like, but who gives a brown smudge resembling material passing from people’s bottoms?

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The Golden 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle.

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They never had these in the scouts.He was right. It wasn’t that good, but at least I didn’t fall asleep during the events that occurred before my very eyes and afterwards I actually wondered what the rest would be like.

The problem was before the events of last night, I was armed with prior knowledge that my good friend, Mr. Logan from sunny Wales has previous experience with the thing in question and he wasn’t overly thrilled with it himself, you have to be in the “Fantasy” mindset to enjoy.

Before any more confusion sets in, let me you assure you all that the object of the moment was none other than the film, The Golden Compass which is currently at the local cineplexsuperuberwooperscreen building near you, unless you live on a deserted tropical island or some such, in which case I have to ask, how have you got internet access and can actually read this?

Leaving that bizarre mystery to one side, it is most certainly a kids film and I have the mind of a 3 year old, so I’m already in the child-like state and therefore properly equipped to harp on about it like some old retired window cleaner telling the unfortunate nephew about the time he cleaned a window that was big.

The Golden Compass is the first of three films, just like the books by some bloke I’ve never heard of, and is set on a parallel world where people and their souls walk about beside them, having a chat about various things like shopping and the weather, while under the thumb of the evil empire from Star Wars, who has just undergone a PR rebranding exercise and are now called the Magisterium. They only want what’s best for everyone and that seems to be no free will and rule everything in existence.

Sounds fair.

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Let’s Rock! Or not if you don’t want to.

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Another duke, another day...

Yes, it’s true. Yet another trailer for the Duke Nukem: Taking Forever game has been produced although this time it has sparked the most unlikely of reactions from the gaming community.

It’s most commonly known as “Couldn’t give a s**t” syndrome. Because the ever awaited proper sequel to Duke Nukem 3D has been over 10 years in the pipeline and all but written off as what is termed around the gaming world as Vapourware, something which will have trailers galore, but will never see the light of day, when 3D Realms announced this new teaser footage, gamers on forums just went ‘meh’, and went for the kill of no real gameplay shown.

No release date again has been mentioned, so brace yourselves for another 10 year wait if people are to be believed.

The trailer has been posted on YouTube, and well it’s not often I link to things on the great booth of video naughty, but because I prefer people to make their own minds up, here is the teaser for you to enjoy.

Site News + Praise

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Of course the wide eyed amongist you would have spotted that the site has been decorated, just like our home, which we have just finished doing, ooooh, I’m feeling really festive now, and it is now a mere week away till my first christmas in another country. Can’t wait!

Now on a unrelated note, the band we have pushed here at Ooh Sometimes quite a bit, Crashing Cairo, had posted a message on their MySpace page. It was put out a while ago, but I never had chance till recently to tell you all about it. Half way through there is a thanks to the website mentioned, so like the proud father handing out cigars and setting fire to things to celebrate, here’s the message from the band in full.

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and they have updated their website with extra goodness so here is the url for that: http://www.crashingcairo.com. We have also recieved a few more emails regarding the last podcast, and how good it actually was, so from the bottom of my manly heart, thank you all very much.

Take care people and remember only a few shopping days left. Ugh.

Christmas Get Together 3

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And finally for the last of the three Christmas write-ups for the week ending 16th December 2007, or week ending 15th December 2007 depending on where you consider the week ends and the new one begins, I give you the works Christmas doo.

Every year, where I work, they rent out the International Centre in Telford, and allow all the broken hearted people who are driven into the ground, wondering what’s the point any more, and consider throwing themselves off a cliff, just to reach the Samaritans phone cunningly placed at the bottom of the cliff. They are a funny bunch, the Samaritans!

As I was saying before going off on a complete tangent, this event allows the workforce to unwind, drink lots on behalf of their respective companies, dance like silly people and makes sure that you can’t face certain people come the next day.

They also have a theme running every year, this year of course as mentioned previously on the blog, the theme was the school disco, where people of various ages dress up in school stuff or not. Sounds simple doesn’t it? You get some food, a lot of booze, a free casino where you can win nothing and a stage show. Should be good. Cue applause.

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Christmas Get Together 2

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The second of the week’s outings took both Natalie and me this time for something decided different. Highfield Hall was holding a Murder Mystery night, where you have some food, some drink and try and find out who killed the host of the evening.

This is where it is. What difference this makes, I have no idea.Highfield Hall is somewhere in North Wales, yes Wales, where a Welshman with many girlfriends is considered to be a shepherd. It’s a hotel, where they have various events such as barn painting or clothes drying, some such like that, and they also do evenings like the murder mystery and Justine, one lady in North Wales, thought it would be something different for everyone to enjoy. We then tagged along.

The company we were in, were those I hadn’t seen for a very long time. Justine was a year older and a year wiser (well not for another week at the time but never mind) so hurrah three times! Jo was showing the baby pounds now, and she is expecting a girl which is nice. I’m never sure what to say about babies being honest.

Haydn and Claire were also there (thank you once again for the present, it was really unexpected and nice), with Mandy and her new boyfriend, who is an absolute hoot by the way, it appears there are truly others in the world with a fantastic sense of humour like myself, but his was clearly more refined and he has much to teach me!

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Christmas Get Together 1

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Tuesday was the first of three get togethers this week and this night was with the original mates of old, Chris and Dave in sunny Wales, which I was more than happy to make the trip up there to see them. We have a tradition of sorts where we will make time to see each other at Christmas to exchange gifts, enjoy each other’s company and do manly things like laugh at women’s habits and show off our muscles.

This year, we were to take in a film at the local (local to Chris and Dave anyway) Vue cinema. At first this was to be the Golden Compass, as mentioned in previous posts featuring James Bo…..I’m not going through that speech again.

But after a consultation with Dave, who had already seen the film (the wee scamp), he had said that the film wasn’t all that good and seemed to have no idea what the hell the story was, so when trying to tell the audience the story, it appears it’s about as useful as the so-called magic compass which seems to get people jolly angry in the film. So the Golden Compass would wait for another time, as Natalie has expressed a desire to see it despite the slandering reviews.

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We’re missing a day.

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Darkness. That’s what we all see at the time, a sort of blissful blackness, nothing interrupting, a place where dreams are where our minds sore giving ideas or happening far beyond what we can see in the real world. But this morning, the darkness lasted longer than normal. Time to others pass normally, rushing around trying to fill their many bags with useless tat. But this mortal was beyond all that. At least until the eyes slowly open, close, open and all that I could muster was a low moan. Trying to talk was out of the question. Gotta try later.

Slowly I eased myself up, at last being able to look over the fallout zone from the week now behind me. A stew of clothes all over the place, the fan laid there on the floor, the fallen solider in the on-going struggle to reach the bed before passing out.

“What’s that smell?” I began thinking. Then all too quickly I realised it was me. And the taste, oh god, the morning breath could melt through 10ft of concrete. Having been thrown forth into the horrible reality that that I was like an extra from Resident Evil, proceeded to roll towards the end of the bed, thinking that if I could make it to the bathroom, I could do something about all this. It was too soon to make the legs hold me up. Gravity won again, and off I went.

After several more minutes of lying on the floor staring at the t-shirt which asks if you’ve tried cheese yet, I somehow summoned all the energy and will through all his body. “This is it. Damn it man, just…” the left leg pulled into my body, angling myself to stand. “A little more…” the other leg moved into position, all systems go. “And…Lift!” my mind cried out.

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Blah, Graphics Brilliant, Blah Blah…

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I have you now... I seriously dreaded when the day came to sit down and write this. As I sat at the keyboard poised to type, the one thing I wanted to do, was to stay away from taking about looks. After all looks can be deceiving, in the case of Medusa if you were to look upon her face, you would turn to stone. If you look at an egg, it looks appealing, but when you taste, it’s just a fart made into something solid.

So as far as looks go, I’m leaving that till later but believe it or not I want to take all on a journey through time, to the not too distant future, where man have perfected the ultimate combat machine. A suit which on command, will give you strength of the bear, speed of the puma, and armour of…a really hard thing. (I didn’t pay attention to Bravestarr that much.)

At least that’s how I saw it when the intro video, it seemed to be a sales pitch for the suit that does it all, maximum strength this and maximum egg whisking that. Lots of things blow up, you kill at a faster rate than ever before and if it went on for much longer, we would have seen George Foreman endorsing it, saying “I kick ass, and the suit also gets me these!” with lovely women in bikinis walking on screen asking George if he would be the father of their kids. I’ll take one then.

Now I can hear you all cry, “Paul, you are the fountain of all knowledge and all history books should be re-written to tell of your epic tales of courage and valour. But great one, what suit are you on about? Have Marks and Spencer brought out something new for Christmas?”

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