Terry Tate: The Hero of the 21st Century

Lord of Leisure Posted on by

Before I even get onto the point of presenting today’s video from YouTube, I have to actually make it clear that this man is a god. I have the feeling that the world would indeed be a better place, were we to have such fine outstanding men like Terry, fighting the good fight against those slackers who steal stationary.

Ladies and Gentlemen, fall silent for Terry Tate: Office Linebacker

and if that above nugget of gold wasn’t enough, there is now far more at: http://www.returnofterrytate.com/

I should also point out that if it wasn’t for Liam at the Office, I would never have known this joy. Thank you sir.

The Lord of Leisure will return…

Lord of Leisure Posted on by

Just bless my little cotton socks, I have neglected this for quite some time haven’t I? Well I suppose it is my own silly fault, concentrating on the pitfalls of work that comes with doing Windows Server support for a living.

So where the hell have I been this time around? After all the trouble of writing that load of rubbish where all that exciting stuff happened (still wondering about that sex scene) There would have been the expectation of more award-winning material.

I should come clean right now then, which actually sounds like a dangerous thing to begin with. There was barely anything worth mentioning which has happened over the last 7 days, for example:

  • I went to a gaming expo, playing a lot of new shiny games before they were released to the general public, met up with some friends from the Gamers With Jobs website, and also talked a load of rubbish with one of Eurogamer’s Journalists about breaking into a bank. No wait, I meant the industry.
  • There was a period of non-stop working which followed, which were leaving thousands of people wondering what else was to do after Russel Brand and Mr Woss left naughty answer machine messages.

    • Continue reading →

    They came from beyond the A41…

    Lord of Leisure Posted on by

    And slowly, they draw their plans against usPray silent, for the tides of darkness draw near, and we see the evil of this world tremble in fear over the onslaught that awaits them.

    Their foul stench curdles the milk, their battered shells tell of things you only see in your nightmares, and if you eat one of their heads, you’ll find one of those lovely plastic toy cars you used to only see from Kinder Surprise.

    I speak of course….of the EGGMEN.

    You may now commence screaming in terror.

    Of course the terror part of it all actually means that you will be screaming why the bloody hell did they bother? But give us a chance, we’re more shaky than Michael J Fox right now, but if we last longer than 5 minutes I dare say, it will be a right old show.

    You see, us euro people have been neglected for too long, there aren’t that many gaming podcasts which cater for the complete sad f**ks who have nothing better to do but play with ourselves rather than remark on more topical things such as the state of the ASDA down the street or why there is hair growing in the most oddest of places…

    Enter our attempt at making a bad statement on the world. With fellow comrades, Phil and Duoue, nothing is beyond our grasp, save the art of conversation, making sense, or even staying on topic.

    Come with us now on a jorney through cyberspace….www.eggmen.co.uk

    That filthy b*****d called Raymond…

    Lord of Leisure Posted on by

    J accuse Monsieur, you are ruining my life!You know, people have been wondering of late why Ooh Sometimes seems to be so empty in recent times.

    Some say it’s due to the credit crunch that we’ve had to cut back on the staff working on the project. Seeing as it was only the Lord of Leisure who wrote on here, that meant no-one else was actually around. Slight oversight but there we are, it happens.

    Others say it’s simply for the fact that Work has been a main catalyst, with work needing to be taken out of hours home, worked on more, then sleep then back to work fresh for the next day, as par well everyone else in London.

    To all those, I say neigh, and not because I’m a horse.

    It’s been mainly down to that piece of Televisual crack-cocaine, called Everybody loves Raymond.

    Yes, thanks to the combination of the “Can’t be arsed” syndrome first diagnosed by Doctors in the late 60s after smoking some crazy s**t and a collection of season length DVDs, the home environment has been a slave to the on-screen antics of the Barone family in pain from the family who live across the street.

    Every day has consisted of at least 3 hours of watching the show over and over, and the worst part is I cannot stop, and it’s not getting old. In fact, as the seasons go on it’s getting funnier and funnier, with Robert, the suffering brother coming out with possibly some of the best comedy nuggets of gold I’ve heard since I passed an old man who was singing while p*ssing on a taxi cab.

    FOUL TEMPTRESS, THY NAME IS RAYMOND!

    (Please note, normal service shall be resumed as soon as I reach season 9)

    Some financial advice…

    Lord of Leisure Posted on by

    We’ve all been affected by the events of the past few weeks. Well, some people have been affected in big ways, like only affording two lots of ice cream a day instead of three. And of course don’t forget, we the taxpayers are entitled to go to the banks shareholders meetings and have votes.

    You have no idea how tempting that is, seeing as I’m not too far from Canary Wharf, home of the major banks in the UK, and ask to see the chairman of that bank, and wonder what value we are getting for my tax money, and perhaps call a vote of confidence or seven to p**s them all off.

    Given the state of the shares on the stock exchange, here is some sound financial advice for those still wanting spend their money on the lottery:

  • If you had purchased £1000 of Northern Rock shares one year ago it would now be worth £4.95.
  • With HBOS, earlier this week your £1000 would have been worth £16.50
  • £1000 invested in XL Leisure would now be worth less than £5

    • But what if you bought £1000 worth of Tennent’s Lager one year ago, drank it all, then took the empty cans to an aluminium re-cycling plant? You would get £214.

    So based on the above statistics the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and re-cycle. Sound words to live by, I’m going to start right now. 🙂

    In the news…

    Lord of Leisure Posted on by

    So after all the hoopla over the wedding over with now, and the nice fact that the Lord of Leisure has returned from the bout of work coupled with Bangalore belly sickness, let’s remind ourselves of some of the events that have been occurring. After all, there have been many things making people cry, and in a strange sort of way, it’s because some bastard in a suit has become the school bully and stolen their lunch money.

    The Credit Crunch

    Alright, 2000 points on Tetris!!Yes, that lovely topical subject, which has literally given all the bankers in the world brown trousers as they hope mummy doesn’t take their toys away. This week of course, we have seen the politicians getting the cheque book out again to bail out more financial f-ups in a vain attempt to get people to start doing the same thing all over again.

    The 700 billion dollar pot which is still being decided at the time of writing, as to whether or not to give out, will effectively give over more control of the fund to the US government in terms of assets etc, while safe guarding, err, something.

    Europe of course, not to be out done by those pesky yankies, are also trying to conjure up money from thin air. It’s not working because naturally everyone in Europe hates each other, but bless them for trying all the same.

    The main problem is: I think it’s not going to solve anything now and what is comes down to is that there is no longer any confidence in the so-called experts who created this mess in the first place, and therefore people are not going to want to place their money in their hands again anytime soon.

    Continue reading →

    life-tablets.cn

    Lord of Leisure Posted on by

    Has anyone else come across the issue of this little malware being entered on their own sites?

    “http://life-tablets.cn/tds/index.php”

    basically it’s part of a line of code that gets written to read only files that have index.php, and hell they’ve even just written them randomly around directories on the server. I’ve been trying to keep this under control, even to the point of making the index.php files read-only to all, and still those files get altered.

    What I want to know is:

    How? and where in China are this f*kers operating from?

    This is a genuine appeal, please can someone shed some light on how these people are able to get read-only files re-written?

    I can’t see anything

    Lord of Leisure Posted on by

    During the last post about the trip to Estonia and the wedding with various tales of joy and vomiting, you may have noticed a distinct lack of pictures from the momentous occasion.

    This mainly due to the wonderful fact that so many people had cameras that it was like a Japanese photographers’ convention. So after about 5 minutes, it seemed pretty pointless to take further photos as I’m pretty sure pictures from everyone else’s cameras would fill up enough for one of those special DVDs with multiple angles, director’s commentary and possible one of those Easter eggs containing a dog humping a toilet.

    So if you are truly interested in seeing what went on in picture form, probably until the official account comes out in all good bookstores, why not visit the official wedding web site?

    Yes, I can’t believe there is one either.

    http://www.steveandkristi.co.uk/photo.php

    Enjoy! 🙂

    Estonia: Day 3 (The slightly important day)

    Lord of Leisure Posted on by

    Well here we are on day 3 in the icy wasteland formally known as Estonia and once again our intrepid hero is unable to move due to vast consumption of alcohol the night before. Two days in a row and still catching up with sleep from the Wednesday before does take it’s toll on the body and it appears that any movement in the upward direction causes pain.

    This general feeling of woe lasted till around 12, when the pain went away just enough to stand up straight, and is instead replaced with a feeling of déjà vu.

    “Here we go again.”

    And today it was all the difference to move the fat ass out of bed, because today, on the Saturday, Steve and Kristi were getting married, a once (or multiple times, depending on how bad you are at the whole commitment thing) in a lifetime event. There wasn’t much on TV, so why not go? 🙂

    We ventured onto a handy coach that had been laid out for us to sleep on, or indeed to remark on the Estonian landscape. Lots of people were there, the best man, the families, some other people who I had no idea who they were. And the distinct feeling that we were being driven to the middle of the countryside to be shot like what happened to those chaps in the Great Escape.

    Not only that but the sad fact you tend to draw is that Half of Estonia is being rebuilt while the other half is falling to bits. Granted that kind of analysis is cruel to make considering how little of the country I actually had seen, but alas, that’s all I can truly say about it all. And on the plus side, we made it to the country manor without getting shot.

    The place where it all took place was a grand place, set by a lake type thing, with lots of trees, paths, it was the kind of place you would envisage Mr Darcy would try to get various ladies knickers off in a ruggish yet long-winded fashion. When we arrived, the bride and groom were busy having their picture taken in the forest, possibly for the police to use as evidence in case the murder didn’t…err….probably shouldn’t have said anything.

    Continue reading →