And then the broadband was back.

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Yes, at long last the broadband was brought back online today, which made for huge raping of the DSL for various updates, games and other things which are best left alone at the best of times….err….

Without hardcore porn, Paul resorted to wearing underpants on his head. It didn't help.I suppose that once you’ve gotten used to using the net for most things these days, internet shopping, online gaming, email death threats, to have that taken away for a great length of time, you realise how much you actually depend upon it. And worryingly it was only made obivous how many things rely on a net connection in order to work.

During the offline period at home, I couldn’t play any games from my steam account despite parting with the cash for quite a number, only Left 4 Dead and Prince of Bel-Air, no Persia, still worked, the rest wanted to check on the steam servers for some reason. Makes me wonder if those who remain offline will get the most out their machines and how long it will be before everything will rely on the internet to work. Even our kettles….

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To qualify what I said on Twitter

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And fresh on the heels of the Sony product you don’t want from the Onion, today while at work I was witness to a very very strange video; a turtle humping a shoe.

I’m not even sure what this falls under; is it naughty as it involves a living thing humping? But then again it’s not exactly graphic hard-core as only the Germans can make, being the fact that the only people likely to get a thrill out of it is either Rolf Harris of Animal Hospital fame, or Bill Oddie.

But even if you don’t watch and just listen, it’s the noise from the turtle which is the funniest;

Just….well….I’m not even sure I can say share this with other people. Campers, it’s probably best if you move along and try to forget this whole thing. 🙂

New Sony Product Release (NSFW)

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Granted this post contains yet another “Watch this video thing I found” which most people abhor about many blogs on the internet, instead preferring to read material worth of Shakespeare himself (well anyone can have a go to do better than him, after all, he’s dead) but it’s one of those which will actually make sense to so many people.

(Taken from the Onion.)

Mind you, I did have second thoughts about the “pushing buttons” job I do for a living if this is what we will have to end up doing at some point….

The broadband wilderness

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It’s been difficult with the Interweb at home since the move, missing out on various things such as romping through the glens killing zombies, watching questionable things on the BBC IPlayer, and actually writing on the blog about various enterprises of late since the move.

That and Call of Duty: World at War broke on me with the latest patch like a lot of other people, I had to change the sound settings under Vista 64-bit to use 16-bit 44100MHz or something for the speakers to output sound from the game. Of course we are still assured that a fix will be forth coming. LIES!

I suppose still coming to terms with the new place and the opportunities it presents will take time, along with recouping the lost billions being spent on just living, still feels like: What now?

Anyway it appears my time is once again up and I shall away to fight with Ash against the evil dead. God I love those films.

As requested…

Lord of Leisure Posted on by

Well, this is a most strange posting indeed. After watching a DVD with the Irish fella from the BBC show, Mock The Week, I had well, let’s set the complete scene first;

  • It had been a productive day, filled with left over duties after the move. The lights in the room were on, indicating it was either night time, dark, or I wasn’t able to find the light switch to turn them off.
  • I had just finished a pizza, the staple diet of the fat man too lazy to cook and care about the state of his digestive system.
  • There is a lack of alcohol in the place, which indicates there is a lack of alcohol in the place.
  • I had put up the new clothes drying thingy I had bought only this day for the purpose of drying wet things

    • In summation, life is at the height of excitement. Forget those people in foreign countries, forget those fighting for our freedom, and forget those people out in all the bars trying to pull those student ladies too young for them, with a bizarre staring technique which freaks them out so much, that they go home alone to “sort themselves out.” No, home is where it’s at with a cup of tea and a DVD.

    Imagine the excitement growing to the point of being unbearable when the phone rang, this time not to ask if I’m happy with my dry cleaning or to send money to a nice Nigerian man. It was a nice drunk couple, who starting laughing heavily after proclaiming that their horses loved me, the dog loved me and apparently the wife loved me as well.

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    Home Improvements

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    From one penthouse to another

    Since the 14th of February, Ooh Sometimes once again has resembled the Arctic Tundra in terms of content; empty, void of life and full of dancing penguins. But that hopefully will soon begin as the impossible has been realised. No, not that. Nor that.

    But remember that nice post all that time ago (Self contained luxury madness) complaining about countless websites offering large studios for £345345 per minute only to have something which resembled a car park with boxes? I have now for the moment secured one of those overpriced pieces of real estate and now am at the mercy of the various telephone / broadband providers, awaiting the return of the internet at home.

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    At home with the Robertseseses

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    Well campers, may as well post a ever so brief and fleeting update about the naughty of late.

    I’m currently back up in Sunny Shropshire, seeing people young, old and techincally dead. It’s another time of leaving the hustle and bustle of London behind for a short while, and this all came at the end of a pretty damned good week as it all goes.

    Even with what happened on Thursday which will stay with myself and possibly some poor people who really didn’t want to see what I had been doing.

    What am I talking about you may be asking? Well that will wait until I get some time to upload the pictures and lay out some funky beats to get down with.

    Now today is Valet Parking Day where men and women pretend to care about themselves and buy new cushions or something. I don’t know, I went off on one last year about the whole thing and with the credit crunch crunching away at my underpants, the whole affair seems to make even less sense this time around. Surely people will realise that all these extra days like pretend we care day, Mothers day, Doctors day and all the other days are a load of rubbish and forget about them?

    Judging from the stalls down south I had seen before boarding a train, not really.

    Right, I’ve rambled enough, off to get to more done, sleep and then relax by a pool filled with exotic ladies.

    Take me down to Paradise City…

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    Failing that, take me to Alton Towers, I feel like weeing my pants on that air ride all over again. It’s a sunny day in London town after the week that had all the weather we could ever want and more, and all I want to do is stay in, play some games and do some ironing.

    Rock and Roll indeed.

    Paul, early this morning heading to work....I have a bearded hobo face, underpants which, well, less said the better and my stomach is growing to the point I can be a stunt double for the Marshmellow man from Ghostbusters. I even am starting to smell like elderberries. Sounds like a classic case of “being slightly full of himself to pretend he’s down in the dumps”, doesn’t it?

    I suppose that in the grand scheme of things I have nothing to cry over, at the moment I still have a roof (with dodgy paintwork) over my head, a job which does indeed challenge and a lady hanging around who cares more than really she should, it appears. Yet that doesn’t stop me thinking that I need to run away. I just want to hide from various people for a good while, get my thoughts and self back together like good old Humpty (well I’m not made of egg so we have that saving grace). Then perhaps the Lord of Leisure will be back in business.

    The only thing is; no idea on the best way to achieve all this without pissing someone off. What avenues I have explored already seems to upset someone, and trying to avoid things like annoying people is close to impossible seeing as people are everywhere. I was told by someone recently: “People are People.”

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    It’s Christmas….errr….wait

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    Best thing ever.

    Hello campers, as everyone else was busy posting stuff about the snow that graced its presence over blighty, I figured I’d do the same. After all everything else is pretty much the same as the last time I posted on here quite some time ago. The living situation remains stagnant, the lack of freedom apparent, the computer weekly blog remains being updated with bits and Guitar Hero 3 is being re-released on PC with GH:Aerosmith stuff in the same box.

    Strange but despite the issues I had with GH3 some time ago under Xp, I’m still a fan and I may end up getting it anyway once more. Just to fail at Welcome to the Jungle again at child settings.

    One day, there will be more here which funny and interesting. Then again that will be the same day I magically turn into Morgan Freeman.