Since the dawn of film-time, aliens have really only been viewed in three situations, first ET as a lovable turd in the film ET who while wandering round the place made a boy ill somehow, dressed up as Mother Teresa while being sat in a bicycle basket, then proceeds to piss off home leaving the family he stayed with a huge phone bill.
The second would be as most aliens on Star Trek, Star Wars and anything else with Star in the bloody title, where they are basically humans with bits of plastic sellotaped to their heads. They laugh, they learn, and they do naughty using their knees or whatever. We love them.
The third lot of alien-funkiness seem to be the kind where aliens are hell bent on destroying human kind by any means possible. More often than not, it’s never made clear why, aside from the fact that Hollywood thinks it makes for great film.
For all we know, It’s like the aliens were just sitting on their sofa, bored with what was on ITV 3, and then started to have a chat over a cup of earl grey about what to do with themselves for the afternoon. Someone suggests to go shoe shopping then another suggests “Hey let’s go to Earth and destroy the humans. I hear it’s fun this time of year and we can stop by Mars for pancakes!” Everyone cheers at this and then heads over to Earth for genocide and Doritos.
Skyline is the latest in a long line of firms of the third kind. Whoopee, can we guess what happens?
Continue reading →
It’s all very well some ill-informed nutter 
Ok, normally at this time, we focus on something that’s happening in the news, but given that the news was rife with useless information all about the Royal Wedding, in which another unholy tale of rich people laughing at everyone unfolds before our tired battered eyes, and there is bad weather in Cornwall which comes as a complete surprise to dead people given the time of year, let’s focus on something that is rather strange in our culture.
But given that some people are in their homes, using new fangled contraptions for the worthwhile purpose of caring what some talentless bint says about other talentless bints on something which could only be made watchable if the entire set was doused with petrol and set on fire, is this basically the best thing we do with ourselves?
A while ago in the news, the pension age in the UK was announced to be raised to 66 for all from the year 2020.
These days we all try to shout about ourselves on the Internet, so why not write one of these wonderful things? What’s that you say? A blog? Me? Write? Using? Words? My god, he’s mad, mad I tells you, MAD!>K!LK!&IUHIKOL”H$*&”Y*&”YR, riots in the street, badgers being burned etc.