A mini meh about….. Fantastic Cash-ins and How to make them…

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I think I’d make a good Doctor Who you know…..

I suppose it would be easy for me to just say that this will be successful regardless because it features more wizzo adventures in JK Rowling’s obscenely successful Harry Potter universe. But then again, perhaps it would be unfair. After all, this film, the first of many to come by all accounts, actually does a much better job with the mix of magic and us lowly humans and therefore doesn’t quite disappear up its own arse like the Harry Potter stories did towards the end. Granted that’s subjective and based on my own personal observations but if nothing else, I do tend to write what I believe.

And I believe that if they keep this level up, this will grow to be far more enjoyable.

While Harry Potter was based in recent history, this film takes us back to the 1920s where we find gorgeous “danish boy-girl” Eddie Redmayne appearing as Newt Scamander (which made think of that villain from the Bond films for some reason to start with), a chap who seems to have come to New York for reasons unknown to begin with carrying a magical suitcase. Continue reading →

A mini meh about…. Arrival

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I think Amy Adams is trying to tell the aliens something…..

Well it’s the day after a certain sci-fi film came out and of course, there was a rush to all pile into the cinemas in the small hours to ensure that the mega uber fans could say they’ve seen it before everyone else. But who would want me to talk about Moulin Rouge One: A Star Wars Story, where Lady Gaga builds the Death Star while Darth Vader writes poetry? Nah, that’s so like me last year where I rushed to see The Force Awakens…..

Instead I’m here to bring you a mini meh about another sci-fi film which various people were leaping to their knees to proclaim it’s the best thing since the last best thing. I’m guessing now that we approach the end of the year that the Oscar Bait season is upon us as that’s the only way I can begin to describe this film. Or is that rather being unfair perhaps?

Well let’s at least start with a bit of the plot and see if it takes your fancy; Huge badly shaped spaceships settle down in various places around the world and then do nothing else for a bit. We see various people go crazy while watching the event on the news and then naturally we get a lovely scene where we see the military commanding chap in the guise of Forest Whitaker try and get experts in to chat to the aliens in a rather cliched way but what can you do? Continue reading →

A mini meh about….. Moana (or Disney Musical No. 563)

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I admit, I just wanted to be hugged by the Rock in this picture….

Well here’s the latest Disney film with music and various magical situations which on first glance, is Disney’s latest attempt to try and further capitalise on Frozen’s success from all those centuries ago. Not only content with getting so much merchandise out the door, but ensuring that Let it Go was never let go by anyone, with various people happy to break into that song at a moment’s notice.

Now for anyone expecting something different like what we witnessed in the frankly superb Zootopia released this year, Moana sadly at first seems to fit a ton of the same tropes as you would expect to. Our new Princess / not-Princess Moana played by Auli’i Cravalho, constantly is fascinated with the water surrounding her island home as she grows up, especially when it seems the water is alive.

Again, no idea why the water is alive but who cares? It fits the theme of legend etc they are going for so I will roll with it.

Moana’s parents (the village leaders of course) are not happy with this and keep her from doing whatever she wants to. She’s banned from exploring the world via the water because water is bad and she should be happy where she is, being the leader of her village people (come on, I had to write that!) and all that jazz. Moana’s grandma though is pretending to be crazy and of course indulges Moana in doing whatever she wants to do. Moana has friends in the guise of a brain damaged chicken and a little pig who seems to act more like a dog! The chicken clearly needs to be fried or something as it really is one of the most useless characters in the entire film, but damn me if he’s not funny! Continue reading →

A mini meh about…. WarMeh

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Can't we all just get along?

Can’t we all just get along?

Now hang on, how long ago was this one released?

Yeah, it was back before the summer right? Just before that silly thing we did in the UK, which we’re all still puzzled as to what it actually means; Brexit. Yeah, that’s it. How did Warcraft do? Not well? It bombed? It only did well in China because they are obsessed with World of Warcraft anyway and therefore that would be the only way a sequel gets made now? Damn! I must admit, I was hoping that the film would do much better than it actually did, because let’s be honest, when it comes to Blizzard Entertainment, I am a fanboy like many many others.

I mean for crying out loud I play their games live once a week at least! But that doesn’t mean they are above reproach, far from it, if anything that means they would be under closer scrutiny for any projects that they do. While various people heaped huge amounts of praise on Overwatch, their first 1st person shooter team game, I hated it. I just couldn’t get to grips with how most of the characters played and even with some practice, it’s just annoying to me beyond belief. Diablo 3 on release got raked over the coals for the “Error 37” issue which stopped anyone playing it. And of course, this film is the first attempt by Blizzard along with Legendary Pictures and Atlas Entertainment to bring one of their games to the big screen.

Given how much story they’ve created through the original Warcraft to World of Warcraft itself, and the many characters they have to work with now, you’d think Blizzard would get this knocked out of the park and set up a long franchise? Well ish, depending on what group you fall into. Continue reading →

A mini meh about…. Doctor Strange

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There's something strange about this picture......

There’s something strange about this picture……

Well here we are again, it’s been and gone that time of year and of course Marvel and by extension, Disney were not happy until they give us another comic book movie for us all to gush over and basically give not only our money to them but also our first born children. Already on screens we are seeing the new trailers for Spiderman: Homecoming and Guardians of the Galaxy Part 2, which in their own right is kicking bottom.

The problem is, Marvel does it very well these days and therefore it’s hard to say no to any more of the comic book films. With the likes of Ant-Man, Thor: Ragnarok and even Spiderman shaping up quite well, along with the runaway success of the Civil War film, was it likely that even introducing magic was going to be a step too far?

The answer appears to be no. Continue reading →

Not My Front Room: Leicester Square

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In a somewhat timely video, This week’s Not My Front Room episode takes place late November in Leicester Square.

A place where it appears Christmas has already started! Woo. Watch as I navigate badly through a crowd, look in shops and stand outside places like an idiot! Well, more than usual of course. I will provide some stories, some sights and perhaps a ridiculous ending. Enjoy!

Alien Vs Issac: A Halloween Livestream

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On Monday 31st October, in keeping with the season and what pretty much most other people were caring about, I decided to do the same, and scare myself with two horror games; Alien Isolation and Dead Space.

Which one would mess with me more for your dining and dancing pleasure, the playlist is below, and for something as a test, it’s been all put on Netflix style so you can watch the entire thing at once should you wish! Enjoy!

A mini meh about….. The Magnificent Seven (the New One)

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Yeeha and other cowboy nonsense.

Yeeha and other cowboy nonsense.

We seem to be having a small resurgence in western themed media. Over on HBO / Sky Atlantic / Your favourite torrent site, Westworld has melded the genre with Sci-FI elements where of course, various lies, treachery and deceit are taking place. Earlier in the year, we had the oscar bait known as the Hateful 8, and of course the absolute car crash which was Adam Sandler’s Ridiculous 6. Even Rockstar Games managed to get tongues wagging with the announcement of Red Dead Redemption 2 due next year.

Well now we have yet another western with a number in the title in the Magnificent Seven, starring quite a lot of people. This is a remake of the original Magnificent Seven back in 1960 with a load of people too. That was a remake of Seven Samurai, released in 1954 and is classed by many as being one of the best films ever made. So what can this version of the same story show us for 2016 as opposed to the times that the others were produced? Well it seems that for one, the Old West was certainly more politically correct for starters, with a cast designed to not offend as many people as humanly possibly, including an actual strong woman character too!

But bollocks to all that, what happens? Our epic story begins with Bartholomew Bogue (Peter Sarsgaard), the evil villain who should have have bombastic music when he enters a room and a mustache he can fiddle while sniggering, basically terrorise the yokels of a small town called Rose Creek. Basically he’s trying to make them leave while buying their land as cheap as possible as he has a gold claim just up the dirt road. No idea why he wanted the town gone too, but again it’s apparently not important to the plot. Continue reading →

A mini meh about….. The Accountant

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It's about to get calculated and then offset against expenses in this bitch!

It’s about to get calculated and then offset against expenses in this bitch!

When you hear that an action packed film called the Accountant is heading to our shores, it doesn’t really set your senses alight with any anticipation.

After all, when the word accountant is mentioned, you can’t help but be stuck with the image of a balding 45 year old called Gerald who dresses in a grey suit he had from the 80s, who generally just wants to chat to Gillian in the coffee room, because she knows about knitting. His favourite colour tends to be beige, because pretty much that describes his personality to a tee. Or perhaps that’s just me thinking that?

However, this particular cinematic adventure doesn’t delve into that world too much and in fact you may end up coming out the other end of not wanting to annoy any accountants for fear that they happen to own an arsenal of weaponry that rivals Seal Team 6. Ben Affleck plays a chap called Christian Wolff, who does wonderful things with numbers but is autistic and therefore struggles with things at times, unless he’s able to finish. Make up your own jokes there folks….. Continue reading →