Another day, another outing to the cinema, this time to enjoy big robots fighting other big robots and then then big monsters with some other shit thrown in. Will the Sequel starring John Boyega make me rise out of my seat with a fuck yeah and other woo noises? Or will Pacific Rim Uprising make me lead an uprising of my own against the production team? Only one way to find out….
Bloody hell, what could I possibly be doing watching a film like Blockers? Me, a sophisticated Lord of Leisure preferring to watch a film about three parents trying to stop their daughters having naughty on their prom night. Starring Leslie Mann and a rather hilarious John Cena, would I actually have the perfect night of my life or would the film block me from good times also? Watch on to find out!
Your eyes are now burned with this image. You can’t unsee it. Counselling is available elsewhere…..
It’s actually been a long time since I waddled down to one of the London multiplexes to watch a preview of the film you’re about to read about. It was actually a day before general release come to think of it. It was a lovely evening out in town, a lot people wandering the brightly lit shopping centre. They were chatting, laughing, eating, and going about their business and all was well.
But why would I be writing about everyday life here? Well, this is one of those times that I actually struggled with what to write about when it comes to a mini meh. It gets worse to say that this was one of the few films where I’ve been openly bored by what happened on screen where I was supposed to be seduced and shocked.
In fact there were times that my mind wandered to think of what to eat for dinner, and if this would be a most excellent joke to play on the film with the news at the time where Conservative Party MPs were calling out the Labour Leader Jeremy Corbyn being called a Czech spy / double agent or something. It was debunked of course but that didn’t stop me wanting to add him to the film title image;
Even sexier, you must agree…..
Today as I sat down to write this review, the news about Donald Trump / Drumpf’s unwillingness to tackle either re-elected (fair and square…..cough) leader Vladimir Putin or Stormy Daniels, the porn star whose lawyer has basically played a blinder on the US networks.
In the face of so much evidence that Russia wants to destabilise the world mainly due to god knows what reasoning, and given the sex scandals Trump / Drumpf has been embroiled in, it also occurred to me that he would also fit into the Red Sparrow Poster, though of course, it’s much more disturbing to say the least!
They already have his sexual performance on a pee pee tape….. allegedly.
All this time though, I’ve avoided even going into what Red Sparrow is. It’s been really difficult actually to remark any a lot of it without sounding like just another internet troll. Red Sparrow is a spy “thriller” starring Jennifer Lawrence as an innocent Russian girl Dominika Egorova who lives at home, helping her sick mother.
But what’s this? She is being pulled by her dodgy as f*ck uncle (Matthias Schoenaerts) into the Russian Secret Sex Service. How? Well, why not get raped by a politician who they then kill in front of her, ensuring that she either joins the Secret Sex Spy Service or die because she was a witness to the politician’s death. Seems fair doesn’t it? Continue reading →
The future is blue, not orange….. And possibly has the Facehugger eggs from Alien.
There were moments during Ready Player One, that I felt tension, suspense. Some laughing, and certainly some annoyance. Just it was against an old man one row back from me who insisted on snoring loudly at various points of the screening. It was a real damn annoyance, as now the Review Embargo is lifted as per the conditions of the screening, it’s time to reveal more about Ready Player One, and whether or not it’s game over yet again for hopes of another video games based nostalgia trip into Ernest Cline’s world of pop culture references in a virtual world.
Steven Spielberg has worked with the author to bring Ready Player One to the big screen, which in no small part is a hell of a challenge. If you’e read the book, or listened to Will Wheaton’s narration of said book, then you know there are times where it goes into massive amounts of detail about some of the computer games, systems, films and other 80s references. Try doing that in the cinema, and people will die of boredom. So the creative team pretty much simplified and redone a huge amount of the story for the cinematic release. It had to be done, and it worked quite well really as a result. So even those who read the book, will not see everything that’s coming.
In this version of Ready Player One, we still have our “hero / nerd” Wade Watts, played by Tye Sheridan (though like with a lot of the actors in this, I really had to look them up as who they were). He lives in an overpopulated caravan park called the Stacks, where life is pretty shit. This gave rise to the fact that everyone instead lived their lives more in a virtual world called “The Oasis”. A place where you can be whatever you want, as long as you can pay for it. Turns out though, the bloke who created the Oasis, James Holiday (yes I know it’s spelt differently) is dead and in essence created a challenge of which the prize would be complete control of the Oasis and a ton of cash. Continue reading →
In a special preview screening today, The Lord of Leisure ventured out into the Arctic Tundra of London to see Ready Player One, the brand new geekfest filled adventure directed by Steven Spielberg and Ernest Cline. Will we level up with glee or was it Game Over Man, Game Over! While I can’t go too much into it due to review embargoes, you may get a decent enough idea now…..
After another cluster truck of a week (no typo there) it was nice to sit back, relax and talk complete crap for a couple of hours in all your company for a Friday evening. More Tavern Brawl goodness and losing with a novelty Warlock deck…. what more could you ask for? music is from the wonderful game Rocket League….
Pretty much sums up the morning….
Hot on the heels of Russia doing naughty in real life, comes a spy thriller with the sexy Jennifer Lawrence as a sexy spy out to do what she can to help her country….or be killed. Does she have the secret to success or has her mission failed to seduce me? Let’s find out!
F**k it, may as well do all the usual Lion King Jokes with this one; Hakuna Matata!
The first Marvel movie of the year arrived on our shores earlier this month and given the amount of anticipation over the first true black film with Superheroes to arrive within the Marvel Universe since the whole cinematic thing began, was it was well worth the wait?
Yes, for the most part.
Now before you all launch into the usual internet outrage and spam me with all sorts of bile that even Alex Jones of InfoWars wouldn’t even get for saying people being shot were actors, let me explain. Black Panther is a wonderful film. It’s cast, crew and director all deserve a huge amount of credit of in essence, bringing the grand scale of events back down to Earth and deal with certain topics which seem to be sadly just as relevant now as they were years ago.
In fact if you’re after a recommendation without reading any further, I can only wholeheartedly say yes! It was damned enjoyable and an excellent tone change from Thor: Fraggle-Rock last year where pretty much everything save for around 5 minutes was a joke every three seconds. Thor was good, don’t get me wrong. But even now, I still think they took it a wee bit too far. Black Panther has the usual Marvel humour, but it’s used much more sparingly and thus when various events take place, you will not be subject to a punchline only a moment later. Continue reading →
Some more space ninja fun was had on Warframe Wednesday, and this time it was around shooting up some big robot dude for money and ting. All the while talking complete rubbish. What more can you need?
