Hello campers, it’s been some time since I last did a post (a year in fact, strange that….) about the fact that the year digit has gone up by one again and that we should all be out getting drunk for 3 times the price that you normally pay for booze and that we will all be celebrate good times because of course it’s a new year and not a continuation of everything else.

Now if you’re currently stuck out at a party drinking too much and your stomach has yet to be pumped to remove all the crap from Christmas, remember that at least you’ve got to struggle to remember the words to that Scottish song thing typically sang at midnight while everyone holds their hands together, and end up just growling slightly and then finally leach over that girl who just turned 16 in the corner before falling asleep with a traffic cone. Enjoy!

Now for those who stayed in, instead of using the same stock photo that I had always done in the past when posting about the new year, let’s just link instead to 2015’s Fireworks Celebrations from the BBC when they plonked cameras out on the Thames;

This would actually be the best view you would get without paying some money for standing by the Thames because of the fact that too many people were going to watch for free year after year (How dare they?!?!) and therefore they wanted to cut down how many people could gather on the south bank and then they also paid for staffing etc. One also assumes that there would be some money made on the side from here on out but not alluded to. So for everyone else, a YouTube video it is! Not quite as good as last year’s attached video where it was Haddaway’s What is Love, but you’ve yet to reach the bottom of the post for this year’s tune….

Now then, as we’ve catered for those filling their shoes with whiskey, and those who would like to stare at shiny explody things before going to bed ready to wake at 6am to do the washing, let’s move onto the typical thing one would do at New Year and make some resolutions.

That in itself can be rather hard to do, if you have the willpower of a fly who drifts towards the blue light of death. I actually wonder who would even remember anything they promised themselves from the year before or if they would just repeat the same ones in the vain hope they change themselves themselves. Damn if I remember anything I ever promised myself from January last year, to be perfectly honest, I break promises to myself on an hourly basis.

Last year’s message I signed off with was Just have a decent new year, where on reflection you can get to the end of 2015 and just say when asked how it was; not bad. And therefore can I say I ended the year saying not bad? On the whole, yeah I can.

Truth be told of course, if my waistline, Steam games account or bank balance is to go by, I may just need to apply for liposuction with a loan from the IMF and just stick to playing with myself as opposed to the sheer ridiculous number of games had from a number of steam sales which are as it stands getting worse and worse. But overall, I still have a roof over my head, I’ve had some great times with some folks around the world, didn’t get fired for saying bad things and the kitchen sink now isn’t blocked. All things considered, you have to conclude that it’s not bad!

Of course, in terms of the things which may be meh, it’s mostly (because we all need to feel that it’s someone else’s fault for some things regardless) all my own silly fault, no-one else to blame there and it will probably continue that way. But there are upsides to those mentioned already in the areas which I do have some pretend sense of control.

Who hasn’t got everything at this point from this blasted service?

In terms of ignoring the Steam Sales, that actually will be easy to achieve, as there is less and less to even put down hard earned cash against. Since the introduction of Steam Refunds and the standardisation of prices of games when it comes to sale time, the rush to buy everything from the service is far lessened and at over 600 games to go through, maybe I have enough to finish for the time being?

And hey, unlike many others who would have given up earlier in the year, I still have a gym membership which has been used in the last 6 months so when I turn back up in January, at least it wan’t be a new membership pretending to make a huge change and leave after three months, it will just be a continuation. Perhaps that’s a small victory in any case. As for anything else in terms of resolutions, maybe just stay alive, try not to be too much of a complete pr*ck where possible and maybe paint that wall in the bedroom that’s needed doing for 6 months? Maybe even still stay employed long enough to pay off some more of the pile of loans and bills still outstanding. Perhaps not pie in the sky stuff with grand visions and all that jazz, but at least it’s realistic.

And you all have to know that being realistic is as good as it gets most of the time.

So what about the likes of you who happen to wander over here waiting for either some witty insight or some muddled ramblings from a madman which is such a welcome change on the internet? What message should you take away with you for 2016? What goals should be set to fail at straight away?

Well that’s up to you of course. You have your own issues and crap to deal with and I dare say you’re still going to need to carry on with all those lies treachery and deceit. Who doesn’t, especially to those who are suffering the after effects of recent bad weather and by all accounts in the media, bad flood defence planning. You know there will be a barrage of various events reported on the news, where if you stuck to just that all the time for what happens in the world, you would have already given up on life and would be just lying on the ground, waiting for it to all be over. There of course I have no doubts be plenty of drama in store for you regardless, even if it’s the fact some b*stard has nicked the milk again.

For those who only have first world problems thankfully to contend with, you go have a great time at the gym for the three months you actually go. You go get that new job / woman / man / fish / monster truck / electronic thingy you’ve always wanted as this is your year big guy / girl / other. Then carry on as you did the previous years as we’ve all got older and therefore probably at this point, far too set in our ways….

Let’s move the post onto a slightly higher note as the modern day cynicism and bile we all possess will be in ample supply the rest of the year, with a upbeat tune which isn’t “Happy” by that bloke who did it for those films with the Minions in. Given that most recent music is a bit sh*t judging from what passes as a James Bond theme song these days, let’s go back to 2009 with the Black Eye Peas;

Well it was that selection or Steel Panther’s Asian Hooker and I suspect that wouldn’t be as well received…..Funny that. Now we finally do come to the end with a message in keeping with last year with a slight update;

Have an decent new year, where on reflection you can get to the end of 2016 and just say when asked how it was; it wasn’t complete sh*t.

Now be off with yourselves, I have washing to do in the morning…..