It seems that despite the fact that Star Wars Episode 7: Disney is about to own you all is coming out on Thursday this week, a few of the other studios decided to release trailers for their own efforts due out next year.

Hey Macarena!

Basically if Star Wars Episode 7 doesn’t get over a billion pounds/dollars/whatever on opening week, regardless of how good or bad or perhaps middling, it would be astonishing. In essence, one may wonder why any other film would bother turning up at the box office until the Oscar Bait season kicks off in January where the new quest for “shiny shiny” can begin. Rest assured, you can expect at least three true stories and people shouting at each other to create supposed drama all over again.

Given that it’s been a while since we spent time at the cinema on this lovely old blog, it’s about time I sat down and watched a number of the big trailers that have hit the internet of recent times, and give a meh piece about each one, just judging purely from the trailers themselves.

The only thing about this list however, is that there is a ridiculous number of comic book movies and big budget sci-fi hitting the screens across the world very soon and to be honest, a lot of the trailers seem to have been put together by the same person as a lot of the same things happen in them, explosions, dramatic music and soundbites, all hoping to leave you in a puddle of your own wee while getting overly excited.

It seems that we just cannot get enough of super heroes and villains pantomiming their way across the big screen but the big question actually after you see some of the list below is; are we now getting too much of one thing again? And if so, what’s going to be the first big flop? We start off things by watching the released after it was leaked anyway trailer;

Star Trek: Beyond (a joke)

Upon the first watch of this, it becomes blindly obvious that the old Star Trek everyone knew about is long dead. Welcome to what some on the internet have called “The Trek and the Furious” after this trailer released after getting leaked ahead of being shown before Star Wars by all accounts. Having been tasked with making Star Trek accessible for all, this is the first glimpse into what Simon Pegg, aka the bloke who can’t do Scottish accents that well, and some other bloke called Doug Jung has in store for us.

Pretty much it seems that the Enterprise is royally fu*ked like the last third Star Trek film with Kirk but this time it’s not at the hands of the Klingons, but at some mystery race who basically all suicide themselves into the beleaguered star-ship before the set-up for high speed high octane action starring everyone else who isn’t Vin Diesel. It even has JJ Abrams and the director credited with Fast and Furious, Justin Lin name checked with a lovely background to make sure it’s not just anyone making the bloody thing!

Running under the Beastie Boys, in fact the same song that showed up in the first film back in 2009, the trailer gives us a motorbike stunt, fighting, explosions aplenty and a decent set-up gag with Spock and Karl Urban who seems to always play Dr McCoy excellently. There also appears to be even less lens flare to blind us all with, which is a step in the right direction.

However, as much as I may be a fan of Star Trek and actually the first one was reviewed on this very blog some time ago to the conclusion of making Star Trek cool, I must admit, this didn’t really get me excited at all, save for McCoy of all characters.

In fact it made me wander off for a cup of tea instead. If the trailer is to be an indication of where they want to go, I think it’s best to switch the brain off for this one and just take it as it is to be a brainless ride to then forget about because the real Fast and Furious 8 will actually be out then.

I hope I’m proven wrong and in fact this trailer actually served to hide a lot more depth.

Independence Day: Resurgence
Or Independence Day 2: This time it’s personal

We can only hope that this time the aliens hadn’t updated their anti-virus or leave their wifi operational in this explosive looking trailer to the id4 film from back in the 1990s.

Oh yeah, in a sequel that no-one really was slitting their wrists demanding to be made, some of the cast from the first Independence Day get another day on the big screen to fight and probably win against the same alien threat who it seems to have p*ssed away their life savings on a monster ship the size of Africa. The thing is, if they were to just smash into to the earth with it, they would win straight away.

But of course where is the fun of a 5 minute film?

We see that we’ve nicked all the spare parts from alien ships to make err slightly better fighter planes, Jeff Goldbulm is taking front stage on wandering around and saying things in his usual charming manner and of course we get to hear Bill Pullman’s epic speech being cut off. Of course, Will Smith seems nowhere to be seen at the moment, so who knows if they were able to pay him $15 million for a cameo or not.

To be honest, I think this would be worth seeing just to see how much of the earth is left and wonder how the alien’s magic shields will be brought down this time. Other than that, by all means, expect some b-movie cheese.

Deadpool

Of the whole list here, this is probably going to be the one I’m actually looking forward to the most. To the shock of a few people, it’s safe to say that I’m more excited for this film than the Star Wars film coming out on Thursday, and that’s simply because I do like characters that don’t care and indeed like to occasionally break the forth wall, chatting to us, making nice little remarks.

You see, when the likes of Kevin Spacey talks to the audience in House of Cards, it can positively send chills down your spine or make you laugh. However, when Deadpool does it, you’re more likely to be laughing or repulsed (probably both) as the wisecracking, naughty loving, regenerating mutant bloke finally makes it onto the big screen in February of next year.

That in itself does raises hopes of being more faithful to the character than what happened in the X-Men Organs film where they sealed his mouth shut. It’s also a film which almost didn’t happen too. Only a leak of a test piece of footage and some behind the scenes negotiation got this the greenlight, even to the point it is a full on adult rated film.

The trailer does it’s very best to show a semblance of a new origins story for Wade Wilson, who has a devoted wife in the very nice form of that lady from Homeland and Serenity and then after the set-up of Deadpool, we just see some random situations and have a few laughs in the process. A Valentine’s Day winner for sure, much like Die Hard is a movie for Christmas. I again hope I’m not wrong.

X-Men Apocalypse

I must confess, the more recent X-Men films with the younger cast have been on the whole rather good, and the brilliant melding of the two casts of the X-Men film franchise in X-Men: Days of Future Past was a successful one, if of course you can just forget about the fact that a mutant had just the right powers to send Wolverine back in time when she never had it before and therefore may have left you confused on how it was all possible in the first place…..

So when it comes to the next instalment where it appears we finally see young Charles Xavier without hair, you would probably be on the edge of your seat to wonder what happens next. And sure enough, the world’s looking like it’s about to be destroyed yet again, and most of the cast comes back is sizable roles with Magneto getting a visit from the titular Apocalypse mutant fella and then becomes one of the four horsemen to do his bidding. Maybe because there was nothing on TV or something, who knows right now.

It seems also that instead of phoning in the performance from Days of Future Past, Jennifer Lawrence (aka that one from the Hungry Games stuff) looks to also be taking a bigger role on the side of the good guys again, though we don’t know if the events of the previous film helped shaped that return.

Over the top dramatic music topped with things basically being destroyed all towards the end does make you wonder what the angles will be on this one and if Wolverine were to turn up again. As a trailer, it does the job of getting the plot across, but it doesn’t do a huge amount else. Tentative on this one, but hopeful, given how well this new series has been running up till now.

Batman Vs Superman: Dawn of WB wanting what Marvel has….

We’re going to actually skip over the epic coming of Marvel’s Captain America: Civil War Part 1 trailer (which looks to try and pit everyone against everyone because of the ol Capt’s best friend Bucky) and actually go towards the comic book film elephant in the room. Rather the main elephant with the tiny elephant that is Suicide Squad lurking somewhere behind it.

The fact that this was made much sooner than introducing all the other characters first to then build up to the end result, shows just how much Warner Bros and DC want to have a slice of the comic book movie world that Disney and Marvel has right now. It kind of reeks of desperation and to be honest, this is where the darker reimagining of the DC universe which started with the Dark Knight Trilogy is going to go completely bat-sh*t crazy (pardon the pun)!

This trailer is just about both the main characters of Batman and Superman having the showdown of sorts before then all being pals to fight a big angry thing, just to then have Wonder Woman show up. The first section is just there purely to give off the type of foreshadowing of stuff going to happen etc. and you wonder then if the payoff will actually be anywhere near as much as they are hinting at here.

Jesse Eisenberg’s performance as Lex Luthor just comes across nothing short of f*cking annoying and I can only imagine that will be even more so during the main film itself. Whether or not that was intentional, I don’t know but I actually want Kevin Spacey back to be Lex instead. His one stint on Superman Returns back in 2006 surely meant for another chance to really show what a Luthor can be made of in the new DC universe?

Remarkably, the new bat on the block in the form of Ben Affleck, seems to hold his own somewhat during the chat with Clark Kent and he actually looks the part of being an older, wiser and cynical Bruce Wayne, especially when talking with Clark (Henry Cavill).

Having not watched Man of Steel yet, I don’t know how well Henry Cavill plays the super hero that quicker than speeding bullet when it comes to chatting up Lois Lane, but he came across as at least confident.

Got to be honest, this looks rushed together though and there’s still no clue as to where the hell Wonder Woman managed to show up from or indeed what the big mother humper of a monster is doing there. People will go to see this for sure, but the fact is, comparisons are only going to be made with Marvel’s line and they have everything to prove and much to lose by pushing ahead with the Justice League set-up now.

Given this will lead on the events of Man of Steel, it seems I have some catching up to do prior to seeing what the result of this experiment is. Watch this space….