Well Thursday the 7th of May, is the day we get to decide who will be best to run the UK before Scotland says up yours anyway and builds a massive wall around itself. Well the actual reality is you vote for a local Member of Parliament who in theory will care about the stuff where you are.

Whether or not they then just go to Westminster to have a nap in an office and earn a nice slice of cash on rent for their 12th home is then just par for the course for the next 5 years. But based on that choice, a Government then gets formed with a leader and various other people. But of course, back in 2010, it became another story of back-room deals and then everyone feeling upset.

This general election’s campaign by all parties, which has seen far more parties engaged in the process, probably more so as a result of what happened all those years ago, and perhaps with events that have transpired since then, well has been nothing but carefully scripted bulls**t, everyone accusing everyone else of lying, a public who doesn’t trust anyone, and basically polls upon polls telling us that no-one knows what’s going to happen.

But in essence, the last few years have pretty much destroyed the faith in politics and politicians, save for one party, and they went to steal some of the limelight from everyone else.

Problem is, they are only in Scotland.

Enter Nicola Sturgeon, the leader of the Scottish National Party who took over from Alex Salmond who basically took the view of “Fu*k it” after losing the independence vote last year.

Watching media coverage, she has earned a good reputation when wandering around Scotland, and even had a few jollies in a helicopter thanks to a mass infusion of cash found from lots of people in the aftermath of the independence vote. The only issue is they seem to pretty much have Labour’s policies, save about Trident, the UK nasty nuclear bomb thing being scrapped, probably in favour of stealing Neptune’s Trident and ruling the sea itself.

Everyone else running for office on the other hand by comparison, has had the charisma and “sex appeal” of a wet cabbage. Further TV debates have steered towards certain issues over and over again, such as personally attacking Ed Milliband, David Cameron staying in bed instead of turning up to anything where people may be, and everyone else just shouting at each other when in the same room.

All the while, this was avoiding minor issues such as how any promises are being paid for and how year after year cost of living increases will be properly tackled. The even more scary issue is that Friday will come and we end up with a sequel to Pirates of the Coalition which again means more dirty deals for those hungry for power in the days afterwards at any cost. It’s happened before when Nick Clegg and the Liberal Democrats had to say sorry about chucking his idea about tuition fees out the window, something which has come back to haunt him when campaigning.

Worst music video ever.

Well given that we are voting for people who will represent us locally, what about these happy go luck scamps hoping to get our votes? Well it never helps that more often than not, we haven’t got a f**king clue who any of them are until it comes to the election time when the expense account is in jeopardy.

It’s also a sign of whether or not they have a clue of what goes on in the area as well. They also take to the printers with various leaflets so as well as the various taxi cards, bills and takeaway menus, you’ve got extra crap from them to throw away as well.

As I live in the area of Hammersmith and Fulham, a constituency which was Conservative which went to Labour and thus is not so much a safe seat, let’s have a gander at what each have to say in their pretty leaflets.

Just so you gentle readers are aware, for the purposes of this part, some images were edited to remove contact information for parties so it was all the same.

First up, We have the happy scamp from Labour;

With a name like Slaughter, you know he is a hard b*stard….oh no wait…this isn’t Mad Max.

That’s about it really.

Seriously, I wish I could say there was something else about what he was going to try and do but it’s purely just about a local hospital still threatened with closure. Anything about maybe, the bins? You’ll buy everyone a lovely pie? What man, seriously, WHAT?!?!?!

There was nothing else about anything going on in the local area that I should as a citizen should care about. Oh and apparently my name is Mahaa now. Think the mail merge there went a bit wrong.

The next contestant for the local area was from the Conservatives;

Vote for me or vote for your DOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

Well this folded leaflet had some more pictures on it with a lot of text contained throughout, and Charlie’s pictured outside things I’ve seen when walking to work. Must be good then surely?

Look, he even had the Captain of the Coalition David Cameron over to talk about Hammersmith outside a chip shop. With some fairly negative language too, you would be forgiven for thinking Charlie was also trying to warn us that Ed Miliband is going to destroy all mankind with the help of the SNP’s robot monster and we must vote to not let that happen. Hey, no mention of the Big Society….did it die?

Then we had some surprises from the other parties for Hammersmith and Fulham. For a start, there was someone from the Liberal Democrats who turned up.

Errr….who are you?

Well again, it was a lovely colour folded leaflet with lots of pictures of local stuff, like the lady sat next to people at Hammersmith Tube Station, and she cares about national and international issues but is from here, so that’s…..something….maybe? That’s about it really, the rest of it was about what happened with the Pirates of the Coalition over the past 5 years and a repeat of what’s been said on the news, that the Lib Dems will be fairer than everyone else because of reasons.

Then finally the other party to post stuff through the letterbox was UKIP, who basically turned up to complain about foreigners in a world city……dozy b*stards;

On the bright side, he promoted for his own leaflets…..

To be fair though (yes…..we do have to do that sometimes…..) he seems to care about council houses a lot and on the other side they wrote that they would save the NHS by leaving the EU. The other side of things, UKIP will scrap some taxes like other parties and basically raise two fingers to everyone else in the world by saying no more foreign aid. No mention of what happens to the Brits currently working and living abroad in the EU without the worry of those pesky visas if the UK left though….

So after all the above, the media coverage which at times has been nothing but painful, the politicians who are also just as painful, what choice do the vast majority face? The sad truth is that you will be looking at the best of a very bad bunch. In areas which never change their mind about who is in power because of the party they are a member of, voting for anyone else is pointless. Come Friday, there will be fighting about who gets to run what, and again the result will be something no-one will be happy with.

Now more than ever, there has been talk of red lines not being crossed when a coalition may be required, and we will never work with so and so, because we will win everything ever. We’re not even sure what reality these people operate in.

The worst part is, if you don’t vote, you still get taxed on everything, therefore technically as you’re employing these chumps, surely you would still have room for grievance? Nope, not for another 5 years when you would be asked to vote again.

So what’s the message you take away from this long winded post where we face a choice between various village idiots?

Go vote on the 7th May, but be prepared to get screwed over more as we have people in power who can put more dog food on expenses, cuts come for services and prices go up anyway year after year no matter who gets in.

The question will really be…..how much are we all about to get screwed over? A little, or a lot?