We’re going to take a small timeout for a few minutes to remark on something which we all fight against but is one major thing that I end up losing on a daily basis and have become adept at performing. The Art of Procrastination.

It has to be said that in the last few months, I’ve actually tried to do more with the time that I have. Rather than sweep crumbs off my chest and struggle to find the point to put on underpants when wandering off to the shops, I’ve attempted to actually keep doing a given set of things to do every week, in many ways, a easier task given the lack of other concerns most people my age have. Like chasing those damn kids who playing on your lawn and playing bingo on Tuesday Afternoons with Mike and Lucy.

Yeah, we’ll get to the main sleep after this nap….

However, even now, you don’t even need to imagine the times where I still barely move. But there are some days where it takes the biscuit. The really nice ones with the orange jam inside. I wake up, full of intentions, full of drive and it seems to be all gone by about 8:30 after the second cup of tea. How does this keep on happening?

A lot of this comes into play with the very thing you’re reading, Ooh Sometimes, which as you the rabid reader is aware is a piece of internet filth which gets 20 bots and a donkey visiting on a regular basis. It is a thing which like most H list celebrities which end up on reality TV shows, need constant attention and dare I say love.

Over the past few years, there has always reached a point where I feel like I’ve ran out of things to say and therefore just wander off from the blog for months at a time, either to have a wash, sleep, eat or a myriad of other time wasting activities.

Normally the other usual issues such as work, trying to find a place to live and being social (drunk) have been the obvious reasons why. But got to be honest, most of the time, it’s been simply a lack of conviction and willingness to actually sit down and construct something that I would have something to say more than 12 words. The low figures of people viewing the content also comes into play a lot.

If only 3 actual people visit the site, and one of them is you when editing and previewing the drivel being placed online, then you can lose heart very much and then wonder why you even bother sometimes, and that in itself can lead onto why you bother with most other things in fact. It’s a cycle, in that unless you do something, you don’t get any interest and no interest, you don’t feel like writing.

But that is not the ultimate killer, no no. It’s when you’ve got nothing.

Where the magic happens sometimes…..probably.

The empty screen can be the worst thing when it comes to creating any content at all.

With no words on the screen, even beginning to write what little thoughts that were had on a given topic, seems mentally the equivalent of rubbing your balls with hot coals. How about when you have a good idea at the time and then you come to actually writing something which attempts to make some level of sense without coming across as a bitter husk of a human being and oh dear.

And after you’ve got something put together, then it’s not even close to being good enough. Second guessing what you wrote is just as bad. Editing as part of what I write is a given, there will be certain parts that upon a second reading doesn’t fit with the narrative you’re trying to convey or a joke that when first written sounded funny, but when read back only serves to confuse and anger the internet mob, thus they get removed.

But then there simply are times when what you’re attempting to do is just useless and then the dry spell starts, and you then just feel better just sitting / lying down on the sofa, staring at the TV, reaching down for the 5th bag of Dorritos and unleashing what can only be described as a chemical attack upon the world due to a bad diet.

I’m sure it can take care of itself….We live in the future now….ish.

This leaks into everything else too, where you just feel at times that you cannot be bothered and just want to return to the horizontal position. The gym is a prime example of this, more so at this time of year where people have the “new you” idea, spend thousands on Keep fit DVDs and memberships to shiny places where no one really moves.

For the first month or so, day after day you end up working out to the point where you are just a little more toned, a little less tired when you use the stairs and maybe you only eat three muffins for breakfast instead of twelve. But then the mood of meh sets in, and then you go back to whatever it was you were doing before.

I’m also sure the bin will empty itself, the pile of ironing will not get any larger and we’ll discover exactly how much milk was left behind the fridge when it turns. It’s all the behaviour of a slob. A slob who would take center stage on a sitcom probably where the happy cleaner comes in and utters a inane catchphrase before the canned laughter kicks in.

So, what’s the secret to ensuring you don’t lose your eyes on the prize? Do you need someone keeping an eye on what you’re doing, like Mary Poppins, who can also sing about something to keep you in the mood? Or is it just a case of leaving everything to the last minute and then rushing around to give you a slight adrenaline push so you feel alive before falling back on the sofa? I really need to know.