You can see an election is coming, more so with the recent autumn statement that everyone is now blaming each other for all the problems in the world and this is what the pattern of behavior we should expect to see until May where the nation will see what kind of newly deluded manics will be in charge of the expense fund.

Back in 2010, when the question came up last, it was at a time when the world economy was basically in tatters at the hands of various banks / poker players who were bailed out to the tune of billions and none of whom were prosecuted. There was no clear winner at that election as many were clearly divided as who was the best choice was with the bad information presented at the time. However, because various people such as Dave still wanted power, the Pirates of the Coalition began charting a course over the three seas of lies, treachery and deceit occasionally while getting lost up a canal in Birmingham.

We had a few things come along during this parliament, such as the Alternative Vote issue which no-one remembers and the more recent Scottish Independence vote which grew in such fierce media coverage as the time come closer that no matter what the outcome, you’d feel a bit crap afterwards.

There were a few things of course which all serve to fuel levels of mehness not seen since Channel 5 brought that Big Brother show back from the unholy realm of the damned.

For starters, in the past few years there was that tiny little issue with GCHQ collecting data along with the CIA/NSA/BYOB/DISCO on everyone which came to light thanks to an American who basically is now stuck in Russia as a result. Then over and over again, various household bills rising year after year, everyone was suddenly working zero-hour contracts and getting their weekly shop from food banks, the bedroom tax, people paid attention to UKIP, some jolly nice riots in various places, people letting off some (shale) gas, probably some terrorists doing bad things are in there too. Maybe a pony….

Let’s be fair it would be so easy to get lost in all the various events, that we’ll cut it off here, lest you decide to drink that bottle of bleach under the kitchen sink, or as it’s the most wonderful time of the year, strangle yourself with tinsel from Poundland.

The main part however is that life carried on and got harder for most as a result. Technically we all got a government no-one actually voted for nor could do anything about, so for some of us, all we did was wander off and eat pie.

But now we approach the end of the road,facing the same choice with the same damned individuals, most of whom are about as knowledgeable as a wet sock, and from casual observation, haven’t learned their lesson from the past. In fact it has already started with receiving various things in the post as the below image will attest to. Inevitably, it will all serve to paint a pretty picture of how much someone you’ve not heard of is doing something about a local issue or ensuring that old people are beaten the right way.

Hi, I’m a guy you’ve not heard of and you will never hear from again.

In the new year, and as we approach May, it will only get more intensive from people wandering around kissing streets, condemning babies, throwing custard pies and blaming the previous people in charge for World War 2 and AIDS. Hell, chuck in the reason why your parsnips got burned in the oven too, it’s their fault too, b*stards!

Various media outlets will make their choice based on how much money they’ve had and how their owners will be donating to which party, there will be some carefully scripted debates and a nicely create narrative for us to follow to the “right decision.”

There is a question I wish to pose; Do you get the feeling that no matter who it is, you will still be left wondering what difference will it make?

It’s time I laid my own personal cards on the table here; it seems to me that no matter who gets into power next, whether the current Pirates of the Coalition carry on sailing the high political seas, we see a new majority of zombies take over or we bear witness to a completely different mixed bag of a government consisting of Larry, Curly and everyone’s favorite, Mo, there will still be the same hard times and the same level of b*llocks. Only the severity of lies told to us to quickly forget may change.

Perhaps it’s because the effects of any policy change takes a good deal of time to filter through, save any increases in tax, which magically always takes effect straight away.

Some things will never change of course, for example, with the change of government, you will still have the same civil servants / public sector staff doing the actual job of getting stuff done in the background that they’ve been doing all this time.

On the ground if you are to be selfish and just look at your own situation (which is of course what we base our thoughts and politics on), then your lot in life may not be so bad, in which case, you stick to those who will keep it that way.

The current people in place on your council may be doing a good job locally, but then their leaders’s efforts on a national level are about as painful as wiping your arse with a concrete block. The reverse of course may also be a given at which point, what way would you go? Favour the local area’s interests over national and potentially international? What’s the likelihood that we paid attention enough to make decent decisions? I for one have played with the fluff in my belly button more than what comes out of Westminster these days.

The only thing which can be said for certain is that Captain Cameron and First Mate Clegg’s second hand ship is about to be swallowed by the Kraken of public opinion and we will not see them together again. Well maybe you will see the first mate in the West End doing a puppet show with his body parts as a new career.

For now, all I know is an election is coming (like Winter) and it’s going to be important and depressing at the same time.