SPOILER WARNING; The following will talk about the events that occur within the HBO series Game of Thrones. If you don’t want to know anything that occurs within it, then go and watch this instead and suddenly pineapples!

Ok then, seeing as you are still here then, we will continue after the pretty picture of a chair which will never be featured in the DFS Summer Sale.

You ask me to pay the iron price… but I will wait for the sales for 50% off…

You know how it goes, there is always something worthwhile that you end up missing out on at the time and then some time passes and you then wonder what all the fuss was about. After all, after you’ve heard so much positive praise for something, you then wonder if any of it was true.

With that in mind, I procured the three series of Game of Thrones, and found some quiet time to settle down and let myself be either disappointed or amazed. What I witnessed, was beyond words, of which I will write anyway. Because otherwise this would be a short blog post.

The whole affair is set on the fictional continents of Northern Ireland and Malta at the end of an extremely long summer during which they also crap themselves about Winter coming over and over again. It’s like being stuck with 70 year old folks on a caravan park in Wales.

But it’s basically a far more compelling version of any soap opera you would care to mention, and maintains a number of different plot threads throughout all designed to further events in their own way.

We first find ourselves getting to know those who work in different houses who don’t like each other and therefore start having fun in a civil war for the Iron Throne of the Seven Kingdoms and Birmingham. Another goes back to everyone bricking it over winter coming and the fear of unknown tall white beings and the “wildlings” of the North (could be Scotland for all I know);

We also have some others wandering round trying to get lots of people with muscles to fight for them and reclaim the Iron Sofa as well, and that in itself leads to all sorts of lies, treachery and deceit. Perhaps actually that would be the perfect tagline for what Game of Thrones is.

Don’t cross me, I hid a satellite disk inside a lake and punched James Bond. This is my house!

Lies, treachery and deceit are a massive part of what we witness through each episode, dealing in various issues such as war, sexuality, the olde hierarchy of lords / ladies and us commoners, religion in various guises, and corruption, perhaps something which also leads us to wonder if the people we think are good will remain so or visa versa.

Well except for that blond haired b******d Joffrey Baratheon who basically has Sean Bean killed off! B*****d! He was basically an asshole the entire way through so you end up just hating the sight of the little git whenever he decided to show up and do what he likes. Did I mention he’s a b*******d?

There are so many characters which command presence whenever they are on screen, that it’s easy to get lost sometimes, but then another scene begins and we’re right on track again. It’s remarkable how it keeps you guessing as what will happen next, of course if you’ve not read the books. There are also no holds barred when it comes to the content and how far they go to illustrate a given scene.

If they cut a horse’s throat, they will do it. If someone needs to have their fingers bitten off, they will be bitten off. It’s still probably still not as a bad as to what we see on the news though, so at least that’s something (BOOM! And this now ends the social commentary part of the post).

I do have to wonder though about poor old George RRRRRRR Martin and whether or not he’s not gotten out of the house recently with the sheer amount of free loving and buggerence that you wouldn’t even find on RedTube. Seriously, we see pretty much everything being f**ked by something once every 10 minutes without fail, and all I can say is; Thanks HBO!

The attitudes on display pretty much makes a mockery of how we are supposed to behave in this day and age, and Jesus Christ, they don’t care if they like having a good time with their brothers and sisters do they? Incest here and there, who cares? A boy who looks about 8 still sucking on his mum’s boobage? Jolly good! They’ve not had any graphic goat buggering yet, at least of what I’ve watched but maybe that will be saved for season 5?

But away from noble knights, family f**king and lots of snow over the huge wall that they built somehow (bet they didn’t use the builders from down my way, they’d still be making the bloody thing after 673 years) we come to one of the best characters that has massively surprised many and amazed more. And he’s one of the bad guys.

Who da small man? He da small man!

The first I heard of Peter Dinklage, was when he slept through reading his lines on Destiny, to then being the naughty science guy who wanted to kill the X-men with terminators, sorry, Sentinels.

But this was the show that made him a big hit, and I can see why. His portrayal of Tyrion Lannister, is without a doubt one of the main draws of the show and it’s such a well flushed out character that his actions within the world all actually make sense.

In fact, I would argue that he is one of the most sane characters that live in a frankly chaotic and psychotic world. Hodor is probably the other most sane character, though got to be honest, he’s also got the easiest time with his lines. His answer for everything is Timmy! sorry I mean Hodor! Mind you It would be excellent for him to carry you round when doing your shopping in Tesco, wouldn’t it?

Also as we’re remarking more on the cast here, how did they manage to find so many good actors and actresses to fill this saga? Seeing the likes of Charles Dance on screen just being himself, fills you with chills. He is ruthless in almost every aspect and yet, with one of Sean Bean’s daughters who ends up getting him takeaways from the local pizza place or whatever servants do, he comes through as being thoughtful and caring, even with his stern demeanour at the time.

Look at my horse, my horse is amazing….

It has to also be remarked on that the length of each series only being 10 episodes long was an excellent masterstroke, in that they then focused more in each in terms of production value and it really shows. Some of the technical prowess in scenes are breathtaking and easily rival that you see on the big screen and the sets and costumes are second to none.

All in all, I’m actually quite happy I caught this after the hype began and the series had been going for some time, as during the recent binging on the collection acquired, it allowed me to get sucked in on my own time and I can only wait to see what happens next. Well worth killing a weekend or two over, so clear your etch a sketches, sit down and be impressed.