In this day and age, we have a terrific range of devices for us to check on funny pictures of cats with.

From computers to tablets to phones who can’t make calls any more, it’s never been easier to get online. Except for one bottleneck which is more often than not, nothing short of geographical pot-luck, regardless of your country.

It’s your phone line.

Back in the good old days, you were just thankful when British Telecom or the state-owned phone company of your choice deemed you fit to have a phone line, and that they had only taken three months to turn up at your house to fit something which allowed to ask people if they could hear you now over and over again. But these days, after the fact that competition opened up and people started moving between providers who offered you 1 more shiny thing than the last lot, you now can do more things with said phone line.

The main use for a phone line arguably has moved from making phone calls to connecting to the Internet. Make no bones about it, if it wasn’t for that fact, a lot of people wouldn’t have a phone line any more, considering almost everyone has a mobile phone with which they annoy everyone 24 hours a day instead.

Because more and more is placed online for your dining and dancing pleasure, it’s become more of a utility than ever before, even to the point where it’s the only way you can receive a decent TV signal in remote parts of the country.

But the speed of it and quality of said experience  really does depend on where in the world you live, and even then provided that you don’t happen to live a place where the laws of time and space do not apply. Like Swansea.

So when the opportunity came along for the installation of new fangled fibre broadband, with a new shiny box to complain about, who wouldn’t jump at the chance? Also who wouldn’t want to write about it, just for something to boast about, given that they have nothing better in life and will never again know the joy of human companionship….sigh…..

The face of modern connection technology….complete with old manky looking face plate….and it’s upside down…

After ringing up BT and placing an order, you must wait a certain amount of time to fit you in during the week. On no account can anyone come round when you would actually be at home, so you must take a day off work to complete the trial. You must also accept that no matter what, you will be waiting for the engineer until 3 minutes before the end time given to you when placing the order.

The ridiculous thing is that you are up and running in a very very short time, and one does wonder if there was no way you could have just done it all yourself as all it needed was a screwdriver and the stuff that they send you a few days in advance in any case; a new faceplate and then the relevant modem and things. The install here took a mere 15 minutes, and then the rest of the day was mine to exploit the new found power of the fibre pipe.

Look at the shiny shiny!

Do not underestimate the level of “nerd-gasm” experienced ever since. The sheer joy of going from a slow unrealiable connection which happen to fall down if someone so much as looked at it funny, to something which worked and actually worked well cannot be denied. The simple fact of being able to download a game from the Steam service provided by Valve, while watching a HD video of someone making fart noises on Youtube is not one which should ever be taken for granted.

Your other devices all of a sudden find a new lease of life, being able to respond faster than ever before to your finger-based whims. And don’t me started on the sheer amount of poon…..got arms like Popeye now.

Given the choice between paying for a TV service or the fibre connection, I have to say go with the fibre. Your options are more open than what you get otherwise, and in the long run, that’s where most of the content is going to come from anyway, so you may as well get ahead of the game now.

For those of you who actually understand numbers and letters put together to mean things, here is a screenshot of the speed test taken online;

My porn collection can now grow more powerful than you can possibly imagine….

Quite simply, it’s a thing of beauty which makes your magic eye water. The day will come when I must return to the internet underworld, to trade the family jewels in exchange for 5 minutes to check the email without things going wrong, as this is not avaliable everywhere and will not be avaliable everywhere for some time. In many other countries, just getting on is an achievement in itself.

But for now, time to download the complete works of Redtube. Boom!

Rage picture nicked from: http://robcarmack.blogspot.co.uk/2013/01/internet-rage.html