Nice.

When you happen to have a few minutes spare in a day, your mind often wanders to a few things, mainly what you’re going to have for dinner, what women you would have a three-way with, and does anyone truly know what’s actually in Hot Dogs.

But have any of you turned you’re hand to being a hip and with it guy who stands at the front of a tiny stage in an underground Jazz club, wearing a black hat, smoking some funk and just laying down the world as you saw it?

Well I haven’t. But if I did, this is what I would say to the brothers out there….

I ain’t got nothing and they took that away from me too!
It’s The Man, laughing with his cup of oppressive tea
How I hate the government, more than you’ll hate me,
The government stole my goldfish and unplugged my TV….

They stole my father and replaced him with a computer
My response was with an AK47 shooter
But it was plastic coz I was just a kid
Last summer I know what you did

That right I faked the death of my local MP with a plastic gun that had stupid lights
And a rat a tat tat sound, to be fair it was a bit shite
To get over it I went to the land of pound,
to buy some tatty garden stuff and a toliet roll that wasn’t round

But it turned out the be the land of poon and when I ask for a tatty garden
I got the fright of my life, they had given my adult hair a side partin’
I stolled over to the pimp, he had a look in his eyes,
Turned out he was Steve Martin in disguise.

He said “eh fool, what you looking at?”
I said “some two dollar hoes and some garden tat.”

Kapow! I just blew your mind.