The News of the World may have ceased print but the legend is living on with resignation after resignation coming thick and fast, lots of questions still being thrown at anyone who is remotely connected to the whole phone hacking thing like custard pies to the face, (with one actual pie coming into play), it’s still a fast moving rollercoaster, borderline coming off the tracks. For those of you who have better things to do or indeed have read the amazing book “1001 things to do with a sock”, let us condense down the past few days events once more, which will already be out of date by the time we hit the publish button on this bloody thing.

The main event of today were Rupert Murdoch with his son James appearing before some committee that we’ve never heard of until today, on what they knew, didn’t know, and frankly it’s hard to think anything other that they were asleep at the wheel or perhaps easy to fool, as one question after another basically brought pretty much the same answers over and over again, No I wasn’t aware, No I didn’t know, No I didn’t rape that pineapple, no smoking, no running etc..with the world record for saying “The Company” 347329812 times in 2 hours certainly went to James.

That’s OK sweetie, daddy’s got this one.

Tom Watson was the main warrior against Darth Murdoch, deflecting several attempts by James The Hutt to answer questions about what was known as time and time again, Tom Watson stated that Rupert Vader was the man in charge of corporate governance for the entire company and therefore responsible. It just wasn’t going to go away.

You knew that certain things were never going be to answered and that was certainly the case for a number of questions, and on some level, they may very well not know that much that was going on, after all it wouldn’t be the first time people lied their asses off to pretend that everything is wonderful right up to the bitter end.

However, there is no way in any layer of hell that anyone is going to believe that (even with the attempt of throwing foam by a complete spanner at Rupert Murdoch which will both win rounds of applause from some and despair from others that it would detract from getting to the heart of the matter) after watching the events of today, people are going to think twice now in that these men run a media empire with the mentality of anything other than a cabbage.

At the close of trading in New York, News Corp shares were 6% higher than at the start of the trading day across the pond, mainly due to the award winning performance given by the Murdochs, which either suggests the Americans all thought it went very well, or the wagons are circling and now fight clubs have started up, seeing who will take over the keys to the Death Star. Either are entirely possible.

What today also showed to us mere mortals who busy ourselves with eating pie and laughing at homeless people, was an amazing glimpse into the upper echelons of the corporate world, at which level it seems that when companies go global, that on the face of it, it’s very easy to lose track of what’s going on and for people to do whatever they like, right up until the point when the brown stuff hits the fast rotating blade cooling device.

Mind you, the number of lawsuits mentioned today also by the MPs was staggering and exactly how long this question of phone hacking was going on for is clearly up for debate, if you’re bringing up events from 2003, one just has to wonder why nothing was done sooner? (cough, money, cough, cover-up, other noises designed to muffle speech, X-files, Murdoch killed John Lennon, b*llocks and so on…)

It also gave us the tactics of the corporate entities in that they are just as cautious in their language as any politician would be, in case they say something which raises more questions. The police investigations may have helped them with avoiding answering specifics.

She melts if you throw water on her.

It doesn’t end there either, Rebekah Brooks, who resigned over this affair after pretty much everyone calling for her to die or something similar, was arrested by police, then bailed and then after the Murdochs wandered in to tell the same MPs who were probably patting themselves on their backs for a job well done, that News International had acted “quickly and decisively” (or “Oh shit, we’re in trouble, better do stuff now”) when new evidence of hacking emerged and that she never sanctioned payments to police. Probably. Maybe. Ish. Let’s be honest, she’s already under the bus along with old ladies zimmerframes and badgers, who would care what she will say now?

The Conservatives, who really must be hoping that no-one else from their side was involved in all this, say some bloke who again I suspect no-one will have cared about until this point, former NoW journalist Neil Wallis may have provided “informal advice” to Andy Coulson, David Cameron’s ex-press chief, before the last election. Now what the hell does that mean? Were they talking about the birds and the bees?

The besiged Metropolitan police force must be at least looking for a few good men (there’s a film in there somewhere) as Commissioner Gordon, sorry Sir Paul Stephenson denied any lies, treachery and deceit in the hiring of Neil Wallis to provide media support (does that mean he buys the paper from the local newsagents?) to the police force. Paul Stephenson said he now regretted the appointment, although in reality this was probably only stated because he looked a bit of a gimp now in light of events. The Met’s public affairs director Dick Fedorcio, a porn star in waiting given his name, told MPs 10 out of 45 members of his department had once worked for News International. They will now be tried for crimes against humanity and be told they did naughty.

A post-mortem examination into the death of whistleblowing former News of the World journalist Sean Hoare (who turns out had a history of sniffing various things) has found no evidence of third party involvement, although the police force holiday to the Bahamas may have been some poor planning on their part…

Now all eyes for on undead Captain of the Collation David Cameron, who pretty much had no choice but to travel back to the UK aboard the Boeing Jolly Roger after cutting short a wonderful trip to Africa where there was cocktails and those little sausages, to prepare for the one day special edition Commons debate on the hacking scandal taking place tomorrow, in which they will look at how the evidence of today played out and once again everyone will ask Dave to say sorry about Andy Coulson…again again.

Who wants to bet that it will be a waste of time? The prosecution continues…