If there was any time to come back to writing about the comings and goings of Britain, it would be now. As for as for bloggers who write about the world and the filth within it, it’s Mardi Gras, we’re all dressed up in our Sunday best, snogging anyone who passes by and partying right into the night like we had lives outside of sitting at home crying that no-one loves us, because as most of you know, pretty much as the week has rolled on, there has been just one story that everyone in the UK has been talking about the most and it’s not going to take a genius to work out what that was.

Yes, Dallas is coming back to our screens after JR, wanting a lie-in for a change, dreamt of pie and then woke in the year 2525, where he and Buck Rogers will save the Galaxy from overpriced toilet paper…no wait sorry….it was something else.

And now the end is near…

The News of the World newspaper came to an end this week in the UK with an almighty crash after it was discovered that people associated with the publication that love to shove tits, tat and terrorism in our weary eyes in recent years, was also “hacking” various phones belonging to well pretty much anyone who is alive or dead.

Even John Paul II stood up from his “nap” and said the paper hacked his holy phone to God, and deleted the voicemail where God asked him to get some milk while he was out in Tesco’s. God was most displeased there was no milk for his Rice Krispies that day.

As the days have stretched on, the facts of what practices have been taking place over in Wapping, which until now will have not even entered anyone’s minds as being a fortress of evil, seems to only get more fantastical. It seems that no-one at all was left alone in what appears to be a practise of stopping at nothing to get anything to fill pages, at any cost.

Even now as the paper is closed, the facts can only get worse for those who had connections to all this, including the police, who were paid for their information and other services, and of course, our lovable politicians, who it appears was only too happy to cuddle up to Satan, sorry Rupert Murdoch, who when spotted on television dodging questions on Friday, looked like a sponge that had been left out in the sun too long. He is now in London, ready to make the big decisions on what to have for dinner today.

Rebekah Brooks, a woman whose captured face when leaving the office recently suggests she eats her young, was the preceding editor when all this took place (Former Conservative Spin Doctor Andy “May as well be called Lying Bastard” Coulson’s in the picture too but he’d already resigned for this), basically remains in her throne as Dr. Evil at News International while basically everyone else is now on Jobserve seeing if even McDonalds will give them a second chance.

With the closure of the News of the world and various people being questioned, various enterprises have also come into question, such as will there be now a Sunday version of the Sun to replace its former counterpart? Will News International’s bid to control BSkyB still go ahead? Was there a cover-up about this at News International? Will there be new regulations as what the press can do covered by a new organisation that has magic superpowers? How far up the arse are the politicians with the media? Is this bread I bought organic?

Firstly before we can address those questions, the problem with all that has been going on, is that you cannot remain in any other mindset other than cynical. If the MPs expenses taught us anything, is basically not to believe anything that anyone in positions of power say, as no matter who comes onto the media field of battle, people will be standing by with their pitchforks and touches ready to burn the next witch.

We don’t take kindly to those phone hacking types round here….

It’s all but confirmed that News International will get something in place to replace the lost revenue of the News of the World. It’s just a question of timing once the hoopla has died down and we go back to looking at which footballer spent £700 million on a gold plated hooker.

Same as the question of whether they will take over BSkyB.

Right now, everyone looking at the whole deal with a fine tooth comb to see if there is any way they can stop it because people have complained at the last minute, with the matter being referred to Ofcom. But legally it’s somewhat murky waters and also with the share price of BSkyB falling as a result of events, News International could conceivably now complete the transaction they want by paying less! Again, it’s a matter of timing.

As the Press Complaints Commission apparently failed for one reason or another to stop this, (remember the Police were busy working for the press to investigate this apparently illegal practice) a new body will be set up with various powers and stuff and in no way will it just be the same thing with a fancier name and mast head….he says with shifty fingers on the keyboard.

One valid point that the press being free and therefore self-regulated by the Press Complaints commission, has made some of the work they do in exposing deeds of ill repute for all of us to revile sometimes requires this level of lies, treachery and deceit. After all, that’s how the MPs Expenses eventually got put on public display.

But messing around with dead soldiers’ relatives’ phones…yeah sorry chief, that’s a tough one to sell to anyone. Maybe just a wee bit of thought that what you’re doing actually is in the public interest first?

Although that in itself leads to another question; As consumers of trash news and gossip, did the public actually push the papers down this route of getting dirt no matter what?

If so, are we now actually seeing what comes as a result of being more interested in whose sleeping with who rather than current events which affect us? The argument can be made that the people consuming media demanded ever more bizarre levels of twisted naughty, that in this case, the News of the World were simply giving people what they wanted and this was the result. After all, media is still a business, no matter what platform you consume it on and if this is where the money is, would you blame them for lowering to this 7th layer of hell?

The dark lords of the Sith. And Darth Vader.

And finally it seems our lovable politicians are trying to distance themselves as far away from this, in as far as they can get away with people not mentioning they go to parties with Murdoch…oops…and riding on a wave of dismay to ask lots of questions about stuff they didn’t care about until people got upset. Like every policy decision basically.

Labour Leader Ed Mullerrice, who basically has been doing his jolly best to spin this to his advantage this week despite smelling of the same sh*t, with a Reuters News conference on Friday and then appearing as much as possible on any show going who would have him, has been calling for enquires about enquires and for Pirates of the Coalition Captain David Cameron to say he is scum for employing the editor bloke from News of the World in the first place.

Dave has said stuff will happen and we’ll have a chat about it. That’s about it right now, but knowing that it’s a slow news cycle, what with the drought in Africa, fighting still in Libya, UK social services being cut and living costs still soaring and all, who knows what will emerge this coming week?

So all in all, this is turning into one piece of brilliant entertainment, simply because we’re seeing the filth of human nature being aired on the 24 hour rolling news channels for all to see. It’s better than sex (terms and conditions apply, see condom pack for details).

And so as the final curtain falls and people’s disgust carries on, here’s one final thought; How much money did News International make today on the final copy of the News of the World despite everyone being upset?