Each step has been rehearsed, each flower meticulously arranged, the aisles transformed into a flowering green avenue of trees.

Yes tomorrow will be a great day for people staying in bed and sleeping while the royal wedding takes place in central London, to literally people who have been camped out since last year for a chance to see Prince William and Princess-when-she-gets-hitched Kate ride past.

Yet as the wonderful day comes, at which the vast majority of Brits are simply planning what to do with their day off away from the hoopla, it seems others have other plans to ensure that the event is the spectacle the state hopes it will be, certainly from a financial view, but also one where people forget about naughty that’s currently going on. It also has reminded us that we have a flag, which is also nice not to be seen on fire in Middle eastern countries or being used as makeshift nappies, but just hanging up about the place which makes it all look pretty.

This has come at a massive cost to all, with over 5000 police officers on patrol to try put down any attempts for people to break helpless phone boxes like what happened it seems with every protest in recent history (bast*rd phone boxes, how dare they allow you to make phone calls at a reasonable price!?!), and also it seems every light fitting, bookshelf and oyster card within London have been checked to see if there are bombs in them. People themselves have been stopped for cavity searches to see if they have a digital timer stuck up their naughty bits. Nick Clegg probably will have been sent to Poland to ensure he doesn’t cause any problems too.

Countless people have been determined to get a good view and have pitched tents along the route of the wedding procession in central London – between Westminster Abbey and Buckingham Palace, a route which has been highlighted by all news media, to much delight to snipers who would like to plan out where to make their shot without having to use Google Maps Streetview to do so.

Many, who were dressed in costumes worse than extras from Doctor Who in the 70s, were there early enough to see the dawn rehearsal by hundreds of service personnel – while others have spent their time fielding questions from the media, most of which seem to have also come from across the world.

The internet itself has also been ablaze with questions about what you will be doing. Twitter, the world’s easiest way to tell complete strangers that you’ve had a bowel movement and link to various YouTube videos showing this, now contain content such as this;

Yes, discuss the dress, and you’re a tubby f**ker so lose weight now.

The whole affair even has it’s own official web site where various people are happy to show what they can do, from putting flowers in things, to baking things in ovens to someone actually caring about it all. For those who missed every detail being poured over on the news, you can find everything here, from what music will played, to what toilet paper will be used to wipe the royal arse.

Even better, MSN who are also promising the whole wedding to be streamed live if you are happening to be stranded in the sahara desert with only an IPhone for company (after all, you cannot make phone calls with it, and there is a 24 hour delay in response to emergency emails) are taking advantage by showing users this;

So now Microsoft will allow you to be disappointed with the wedding and your web browser at the same time.

The foreign media have been the most enthusiastic. NBC, the television network whose news coverage of dogs wearing jumpers is unsurpassed, have been basically been spending a lot of their time looking at how British everything is, from wandering round town in an open top bus at St. Pancreas, which had more equipment in operation than at NASA, to then finding Britain’s most gay man to find out how to make jelly.

Even better, there were occasions where a woman was brought on to talk about how she came to London to meet a prince, how she first thought that London would be just one big “Hugh Grant” film but remarkably, it didn’t turn out to be. Endless hours of the dress, what hotel people would be staying in and which relative will cry first will have been shown over and over again, all the while, we sit back and lap it all up.

All the over the top coverage often leads you to wonder if everyone else is hugely enthused about all this but what do people for the most part on the street actually think about all this?

Remarkably it seems most people I’ve talked to, will be either working or doing something themselves away from it all as it’s time they’ve been given to do what they want. Only a few have actively admitted, much like being addicted to cocaine, that they will be watching the event, but it seems only under duress from loved ones more than their interest. More questions seem to be raised from all this too;

Is this really all just one big do designed to make us care about the Royal Family again, make some quick cash from dirty people not from here and forget about our worries? Are we actually now becoming so cynical that we can’t even just be happy for two people who apparently can stand each other for more than 30 seconds who want to then be locked in the prison of unholy marriage? Does my bum look too big in this? Will Batman defeat the Joker? Where is Wally?

For all the pondering of the subject, one thing remains certain. I will be doing as what is deemed appropriate for such an occasion such as the royal wedding; wearing soggy underpants with doritos stains, half-asleep watching sexy moving pictures from the 1920s from the comfort of my bed.

A grand occasion indeed.