And so it’s that time of year once more, where we even dust off the same santa picture telling you that you should buy things, and that means a festive Ooh Sometimes message to be displayed on the 25th of December to those who are too bored to talk to their families, but unlike last year, there are now better things to watch than RedTube, if the recent episodes of Robert’s web, staring Robert Webb is to be believed. I bet the guys who came up with the name of the show spent literally seconds thinking that up.

First of all, Merry Christmas to everyone today (even those who prefer not to celebrate, remember kids, you’re still getting some days off), hope you got what you wanted or indeed perhaps you just got to spend time with your “loved” ones (yes you only see them when you have to, don’t lie), and if not, just remember, EBay allows you to sell both your crap presents and your loved ones on as required.

Plus this year, stores have extended their returns policy to the end of January. Let’s be fair most of the stuff on sale this year has been sh*t, so let’s all get the money back and get drunk instead.

By the time you read this, I myself as usual will away from sunny or snowy London, back in the Midlands with friends and family, more than likely right now I’m on the floor under the influence of yet more questionable substances, all the time laughing at shiny things. You’d think I’d have learned that cheap Tesco bleach is powerful stuff from last year when I ended up jumping up and down on a neighbour’s car dressed as fat Elvis.

At 7pm or thereabouts, we can all neglect each other and watch Doctor Who…Again. Christ, it’s almost like Groundhog day, only once a year (and I said that same sentence last year too, almost as if I thought about doing that joke a year in advance…I didn’t).

This time the Doctor pretends to be the ghost of Christmas past, unlike Uncle Tom, who is mistaken for the ghost simply for being 104 years old and smelling like the undead. There could be some debate on whether or not the new Doctor has been any good this year, but as that would invite the type of flaming that occurred over X Factor, when one of the Judges didn’t vote or some bother, leading to more complaints than what took place during the recent student riots, let’s leave it lie….till next year.

Last year, there was an air of optimism, despite the lies, treachery and deceit that came before, but at the moment, you could argue things are going to go the other way as VAT makes it’s way up to 20%, affecting the price of everything, with certain types using that as an excuse to push up prices even further than what is required. What’s more, pretty much the same things remain in place, and there’s a even greater sense of failure to achieve anything than every before. Perhaps we’ve just ground to a halt and there is truly no “next big thing” coming our way in 2011.

But for the time being, we’ll all off, we’re all drinking heavily and possibly having naughty with someone you know, or not, we don’t judge here, though the same thing goes as last year too; if they have a sexy sister with no self-esteem, f**k it, if they are easy, let me know.

So to finish off the year of our make-believe friend’s 2010 Christmas message, enjoy the moment, and let’s look forward to eating another 70 days worth of leftovers from the bins, as we’ll have to tighten our belts for the coming year, something we fat people cannot do at all. For shame.

We’ll see you all for the new year’s message in a few days, unless there was even more awful Christmas TV than last year, in which case, we’ll be back in a couple of days.

Oh and in case anyone actually cared, the 2010 podcast is delayed to the beginning of 2011, due to a mixture of lack of record abilities, willpower and toilet paper. Perhaps some things really do never change then…