It’s that special time of year.
Another year passes, the air turns chilly, the news simply reports on snow causing cancer, diabetes or some other disaster, and we begin to deck the halls with the battered violated bodies of our enemies and the odd friend too. Christmas is round the corner again.
Last year, Christmas had a more sombre tone to it for most due to the lows that was 2009 and while most of the activities have not changed, the overall feeling is different. Allow me to illustrate; I had remarked on the events that occur every year at this freezing time, with a fair amount of chilly bitterness, and to a massive extent that does still hold true.
You still worry what to get people, and that if you failed to turn up with anything short of something amazing, like the cure for cancer, or a pair of time-travelling trousers (pull them down to return to the present, everyone knows how they work).What’s this? A jumper to keep the cold out….bastard!
Most of us will still end up attending office parties which are just as painful as being in the office as the same people are there, and perhaps not even the promise of free booze will make the difference now, so you stop pretending to like each other, take out a gun which embedded in the ice fountain and re-enact the opening good bit from Saving Private Ryan.
Let’s not forget the 21 year old decorations round the house need to be put up, therefore making the place look more like a council estate complete with burned out Vauxhall Astra than at any other time of the year. Shame that big TV you bought last year had a brick thrown through by Uncle Tommy after the 10 minute freeview section of NaughtySexyFunTimeORama was turned off by Sky.
This year however, things seem to be cut back to the point of you begin to wonder if it is indeed Christmas coming up.
There are far less attempts at forcing people to spend their hard earned money than there normally is, just the fact you turn up at all at the shop to buy something seems to be more than welcome. The often brutal shop campaigns, in which so many cheap prices are flashed on the screen at once you have a fit, are more understated and dare I sat traditional.
There was not even an attempt to kick off the shopping season early this year, with aforementioned adverts and cheap decorations put by cheap people adorning various outlets only really making an appearance proper in the last couple of weeks (Back then, the first Christmas signs were up late September in Asda believe it or not, though of course Mince Pies had been available from April).
People’s attitudes seem to have altered as well, not that I’m an expert in reading human behaviour. At the time of writing, there hasn’t been one mention yet of the whole “New Year, New Start” phenomenon which was so popular last year, which borderline drove me insane, therefore reaching out for some stranger in the street’s throat, screaming “Why wait for next year to do something when you could try and do something about it now….hello officer, didn’t see you there.”
There is one thing slightly disturbing about this year’s gift offerings though; Stand-up Comedy DVDs. Yes we’ve always had them coming out at this time, but there seems to be more than ever before, threatening to take over unsuspecting stores like a naughty virus. What’s more, as long as there’s a quirk about you, you can have a DVD;
From award winning one eyed, one legged, one arsed Jim Buckshot, it’s Jim’s Coma-inducing talk about tractors. Laugh as he pours over every detail relating to “changing the oil”, and fires off knuckle children when thinking about the various things tractors can pull. Like farmers.
It’s more insidious than the traditional new year DVDs where we pretend to care about our weight, get exhausted just from watching the fitness workout and fall asleep. I know there’s been very little in actual good entertainment this year, and maybe that’s why they are sensing the opportunity to make us laugh at it all. But come on, there can be “too much of a good thing.”
But despite the overzealous stockpiling of funny material, maybe the over commercialisation of the holiday has taken it’s toll and now the ideal is to be more relaxed, with less need to prove you love someone by buying them £47420 worth of bog rolls. This is likely due to the financial cuts that many face, be it individuals or businesses, and as a result we’re seem to be getting back to basics for a large part of it, in turn somehow making Christmas something more special than getting a few days off to eat, drink and p*ss our misery away while moaning about getting a book about road signs and a watch that tells you that you need to buy another watch.
It is a very welcome mood change, and although it’s does mean a struggle for making up funny commentary on the whole subject, perhaps, just for once, it gets a pass. At least till it comes to the time of watching bad Christmas television again.
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