I suppose it’s been a funny old week, reflecting on various things of import, the most important of which I didn’t actually pay attention to, owing to spending too much time playing Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2, and laughing at the notion that Stephen Hawking is simply referred to by some as “the wheelchair guy.”

The Pope came to visit the UK on a £12 million jolly, meaning lots of people got jolly upset about the whole thing costing lots of money and asking why should we care? The Richard Dawkins signal was shown in the night sky over London, ensuring that all were rallied to distribute condoms, pelt the Pope Mobile with copies of the Atheists’ Guide to Christmas, and install chastity belts on the under 7’s.

The end of that scrolling link from Sky news is: “underpants in the wash, can someone dry them and send them back via air mail?”

The first real tiding of holy doom was cast when Corporal Walter Kasper (not the friendly Ghost), one of the Pope’s senior advisers, pulled out of the trip earlier this week. Apparently he withdrew from the jolly after comparing Britain with a “third world country” and made a reference to the nation’s “aggressive new atheism” during an interview with a German magazine (Uber Allis probably, come on, let’s keep the second world war stereotypes alive!!)

Aggressive new atheism? I think you’ll find it’s due to the fact that people cannot be arsed to go to church, just to be told that they’ve been f**kers throughout the week and now they must pay for their crimes. If we want to feel that bad, we just watch an episode of the X factor. The sad fact is, that the sense of right and wrong has been passed down to most, now without the required dogma that went with centuries of teachings from the various religions, and now it seems to serve, at least in the UK, more of a ceremonial purpose, for weddings, christenings and funerals.

Other countries still maintain a mainstream view of religion, in Spain for example, it forms a great part of every day life. There is still the majesty, pomp and circumstance that surrounds the whole thing, and who knows whether that is right or wrong?

The second tiding of doom came as five dopey buggers were arrested for some reason that no-one really knows about. They were or were not going to do something while the pope was in town. That was literally the news about that entire threat, the details were so sketchy, Rolf Harris even failed to tell what it is yet.

Today, crowds cheered in Birmingham after the Pope beat off Paul Newman’s brother. No wait, I think I got it wrong….Mind you, what the hell are you meant to think when you see the headline Pope to beatify Cardinal Newman? The Pope turns into the Godfather, and sends his goons round to finish the job?

Perhaps all this has passed me by without caring as I failed to understand the reasons behind it all. Was all this to improve the churches image, recruit new followers? Or was it all really an opportunity for the Pope to get some KFC, then go on the talk show circuit, telling people about the time he did cocaine? I suppose in the grand scheme of things, I’ll fall asleep and forget I ever wrote about such an historic event.