Indeed, it has been 28 years since I came into being, and of course the slow yet steady decline begins as youth is fleeting away from my battered skin cells. Indeed things had been so silly that last year, the whole birthday thing didn’t even get a mention. The one thing for the whole of September was in fact, that someone used a photo from this site. Indeed, something we all know was so earth shattering it had to be remarked on.

Well this year, that will be only slightly different.

You see, as I’ve gotten older and also further away from people I knew once upon a time, birthdays have become nothing more than a day off from work, and really nothing further than that. It becomes a subtle kick in the balls as it were, just like christmas etc, that time is passing by and all the while, things are moving on, and also people are moving on. Yet you’re the one that remains pretty much the same, you’ve still got an arse the size of the moon, the social skills of head lice, and a face that could derail a moving train at 100 metres.

Like the whole thing about New Year’s for example, which we all know is coming rather soon now, you think that yes it should be celebrated and then use it as a stepping stone, a line in the sand, to boost yourself, start fresh, achieve that special list of things you’ve always wanted to do. And then reality kicks in.

No-one should kid themselves. At the end of the day you will have been fashioned by the sum of your experiences and how you will act going forward will only be subject to those experiences, we don’t suddenly change our entire behaviour.

So say you had been on a night out, after drinking lots and lots of over the top drinks with bits of fruit and and you’ve passed out, in a state of limbo between sleep and being awake, you may also at some point see the day as an opportunity to see what it is you have achieved in life, according to a certain checklist seemingly passed down in society;

Maybe this is all called “The living life to the fullest list”, or was that the point of the whole going to different places thing and taking pictures of food?

Now, if I were to look at the list above and see what I can actually tick off there, well, I score currently 1 out of 8, with the job part, not a manager but put it this way, I’m doing alright. I could claim to cross off points 3 and 4 on a couple of occasions so far, with a bit on 5 once, indeed there once was a woman who could stand the sight of me, even at that moment, however that whole thing was doomed by lies, treachery and deceit. So I learned from that, figured “Well, shit happens”, powered on through Call of Duty again and well that’s the way it’s remained really to this very day in fact.

Given the dismal failure of achieving any of this, it appears I now have to get my royal skates on and jolly well do something about the whole situation.

I’m never sure where this list ever came from and who came up with the idea behind existence was to achieve the above, but yes it’s the list of life and it will be followed, whether we like it or not.

If we don’t achieve it, we’ll die alone, with our faces buried in a pub toilet. In some ways, that makes the whole mess rather frightening, and perhaps the most cruel thing about life, is when you are judged by other people what you have done, and let’s be fair, not everyone is cut out to be someone who changes the world to be a better place, or a free thinker to inspires people to do more. Most of us are “normal”, therefore the best we can do is the list above.

Damn. I really do need a drink now…..