Given the fact that during September I dropped off the face of the earth from a blogging point of view, there were some nice events that occurred, one of which was the trip to Madrid once more to save the day as it were, and the fact that a picture can speak a thousand words, allow me to display lots of pictures in order to re-dress the balance and save me from having to explain anything in great detail.

Let’s start with the required picture of a city street for no other reason than it allows me to wander onto a subject we all enjoy: Prostitution.

For those who are unfamiliar with the concept, it’s basically people enjoying other people for some payment of both money and perhaps a modicum of self-esteem, though perhaps that last part may not be a problem.

Enter the street where it appears people enjoy other people quite often:

Now in order to begin talking to them, you must of course know how they operate, or it seems not at all, as it seems if you take the wrong turning, they seem to be drawn to dumpy geeks asking if you want BJ.

Saying no of course, seems to invoke anger, even to the point of getting the biggest man i’d ever seen to come over and explain the situation using his skills of communication and then resorting to using his hands to underline his well rehearsed speeches.

Seeing as it would be wise to move on before said conversation, I did however decide to get a quick picture for use on an internet blog say, maybe this one.

Of course Prostitutes are not the only reason to go to Madrid, though it seems, it’s quite a fun one. Why not take in a show in another language?

If that’s your taste, then you may as well go to some of the fine parks and pose for pictures while people take pictures of people, then Peter Piper picked a pi….ah never mind. Mind you, look at the hair….damn it really was getting to the point of being a hippy and then some. How am I meant to be taken seriously in anyway when I look like a missing BeeGee?

With a bottle of your favorite cough syrup, you can hang around a park till nighttime when all the nice zombie people come out to play. Mind you, there are certain places which look nice at both ends of the stick;

This was one of the main squares, kind of like Covent Garden in that respect back in London, except without the Big Issue being sold or the West Cornish Pasty Company selling everything except said pasty delights. There were of course, various things to watch including a very impressive dance show showing us foreigners how the Spanish do it;

There are many fine places to eat. Not just in Madrid, there are a number of places it appears everywhere, except the Sahara where it’s just the odd roadside cafe where the bacon sandwiches cost £486 each. Eating out late at night is the done thing however in Euroland, therefore why not indulge in the same way as well? However the issue with eating out in a main Euro-fryingpan city such as Madrid for a single man, is the sheer number of nice ladies about, hence this picture combines both;

And when one is tired from wandering around the city, eating and staring at non-payment-requiring women, one simply must retire to some warm and cozy place, where you can just sit back relax, and pretend to have more money than you actually do.

Hence the 5 star hotel room;

Let’s be fair of course, such delights at £160 a night is far beyond the reach of us normal people unless we are running a Chinese laundry or running a scheme for Nicky the Nose. It does make you wonder what you have to do to earn such a welcome slice of luxury and it appears to be fixing computers to a reasonable level. Tony Blair had it right all along? Nah……

Seems I’ve left out a vital point of view here on our strange tour of the place, the view out the window at the airport;

Now “Paul, you lazy good for nothing bum who basically left us all alone for just under a month without so much as a sneeze beyond writing crap on Twitter” I hear you cry, “What the hell is the point of all this waffle? You’ve not really described anything at all that would fit in people’s search for knowledge of other places and appear to have stolen time from my life that I’ll never get back.”

And you’d be right. The problem of course with all this is basically, there is only so much you can do and say about a business trip. You travel somewhere else and then you turn up to work like every other day, except for the fact you don’t have to pay for everything like normal.

But there are the little things which make a tremendous difference to the normal mundane rituals we all follow on a daily basis, well mundane to us in the west, Heaven to those elsewhere of course.

The Spanish make excellent coffee with actual taste, they seem to care far less about things, they have free porn on their standard TV channels, cost of living was slightly cheaper than the UK, even with the awful exchange rate with Pounds and Euros now.

A change is as good as a rest they say, but why can’t it come with the promise of both from time to time?

I will leave this post with the following shaky picture with the required blur, showing the terrible camera in my position and I dare you not to think of the same thing I did when I saw this at the airport;