So after all the hoopla over the wedding over with now, and the nice fact that the Lord of Leisure has returned from the bout of work coupled with Bangalore belly sickness, let’s remind ourselves of some of the events that have been occurring. After all, there have been many things making people cry, and in a strange sort of way, it’s because some bastard in a suit has become the school bully and stolen their lunch money.

The Credit Crunch

Yes, that lovely topical subject, which has literally given all the bankers in the world brown trousers as they hope mummy doesn’t take their toys away. This week of course, we have seen the politicians getting the cheque book out again to bail out more financial f-ups in a vain attempt to get people to start doing the same thing all over again.

The 700 billion dollar pot which is still being decided at the time of writing, as to whether or not to give out, will effectively give over more control of the fund to the US government in terms of assets etc, while safe guarding, err, something.

Europe of course, not to be out done by those pesky yankies, are also trying to conjure up money from thin air. It’s not working because naturally everyone in Europe hates each other, but bless them for trying all the same.

The main problem is: I think it’s not going to solve anything now and what is comes down to is that there is no longer any confidence in the so-called experts who created this mess in the first place, and therefore people are not going to want to place their money in their hands again anytime soon.

People won’t invest, preferring to keep what they have, more money will be insured by the governing bodies of the world, and all the while everything will remain stagnant. Prices will remain high, people do less, and well I guess we will all continue to blame everyone for all of it.

In the meantime, I’ll be at home, playing with myself in various illegal ways as there is nothing I can actually do about any of this, so as long I get to stuff my face full of dirty meat and cider, as far as the Lord of Leisure would be concerned, it’s all good! Only if our way of life is truly threatened, will we rise up. Right now, it isn’t.

Peter Mandelson

Yes, that rat-faced lying t**t is back in office, after our beloved prime minister couldn’t take it anymore and said “I bent over the desk, now take me you manly brute.” Unfortunately I can only think of the undead in this case, simply put, they refuse to stay down, even when they have been killed off more than once for naughty behaviour, just like good old Peter here.

Mind you, this has been more showing up of the whole political system as a whole, forget what you actually did wrong before and how many costly mistakes you make, know the right people and you can do anything you want. The electorate really don’t matter any more except for election time, and who knows when that will be at this rate?

It is hardly surprising nowadays that people have so little faith in what a lot of people are doing who are in power, much in the same vain as above about the whole credit crunch thing.

Don’t you just love politics when it’s shown up for the overpaid boy’s club it actually is?

The Hadron Colander

Remember that great big experiment to find the god thing, where the main scientist thought that if anyone thought the machine would destroy the world, that they were a t**t? Remember the huge rant I had about the entire project, and had the feeling that the experts had no idea what they were doing?

Well, for now, we’ve had a reprieve from the possible abyss of the black hole, thanks to human engineering failing once again!

Yep, the big round thing broke down, and despite calling out the AA to get towed to the nearest garage, the problem seems to be more profound than they thought, and after all the maintenance etc, it won’t be back on until April next year, by which time, they will all be bored, and start wondering why men’s testicles look like the creature from the blue lagoon.

My right foot

And finally, to round off this epic news report, it appears my right foot has gone a bit bad, in terms it dries up and cracks. Anyone got any suggestions on how to fix it? I’ve been rubbing it vigorously but that just gives me dodgy looks on the London Underground.