Well here we are on day 3 in the icy wasteland formally known as Estonia and once again our intrepid hero is unable to move due to vast consumption of alcohol the night before. Two days in a row and still catching up with sleep from the Wednesday before does take it’s toll on the body and it appears that any movement in the upward direction causes pain.

This general feeling of woe lasted till around 12, when the pain went away just enough to stand up straight, and is instead replaced with a feeling of déjà vu.

“Here we go again.”

And today it was all the difference to move the fat ass out of bed, because today, on the Saturday, Steve and Kristi were getting married, a once (or multiple times, depending on how bad you are at the whole commitment thing) in a lifetime event. There wasn’t much on TV, so why not go? 🙂

We ventured onto a handy coach that had been laid out for us to sleep on, or indeed to remark on the Estonian landscape. Lots of people were there, the best man, the families, some other people who I had no idea who they were. And the distinct feeling that we were being driven to the middle of the countryside to be shot like what happened to those chaps in the Great Escape.

Not only that but the sad fact you tend to draw is that Half of Estonia is being rebuilt while the other half is falling to bits. Granted that kind of analysis is cruel to make considering how little of the country I actually had seen, but alas, that’s all I can truly say about it all. And on the plus side, we made it to the country manor without getting shot.

The place where it all took place was a grand place, set by a lake type thing, with lots of trees, paths, it was the kind of place you would envisage Mr Darcy would try to get various ladies knickers off in a ruggish yet long-winded fashion. When we arrived, the bride and groom were busy having their picture taken in the forest, possibly for the police to use as evidence in case the murder didn’t…err….probably shouldn’t have said anything.

We all meandered into the main area where the marriage would take place. It was all done out beautifully, with a three piece, I suppose you say band, playing this grand music out, sort making sure you knew what type of occasion it was.

And then after a while, in which Darren was asked to make sure they hadn’t run away, the happy couple came through, and they both looked a sight. I suppose for the first time, it had actually brought it all home what this was all about. Two people who were going to show this group of people how much they loved each other. It was such a great thing and frankly it was a honour to actually not be ejected from such an event.

Despite the fact no-one knew if to stand up or sit down and therefore there was this odd Mexican wave type thing going before the ceremony started.

I suppose many people would be able to describe weddings in more grand detail, to remark on the grand occasion with more flare, better grammar and perhaps giving this more gravitas than the words here give. But perhaps in the words of this simple man, who has trouble even admitting he has personal habits which make monkeys blush, just the sheer feeling of happiness for both my friends, it was just overwhelming, and you really couldn’t help but smile all the way through.

And then after the dual language ceremony was over, the deed was done. And now the pictures begin!!

Here they were just after, and quite right too, look, that’s what happy people look like!!

And Steve’s family were quite chuffed too…

After being jolly happy, and wishing the happy couple happy birthday due to a lack of actually thinking of anything else, we all made our way outside for many photos, laughing at various things, and at one point looking either scared or something, I wasn’t quite sure. But there we all were, and actually this process did go on for a fair while, so why not have a look for yourself?

Here is a photo of all the Estonian people who were there, or and Steve’s in the picture, well I suppose he had to be considering he was the groom. The throwing of the flowery thing was interesting; you never knew Kristi had such a strong throw.

After all this, we wandered off down a beaten gravel, at which point you did wonder if this was when we were shot, but no. You see in Estonian tradition, they plant a tree to spread roots of the family.

This was also the first time we saw Steve try to do some gardening….

It was also when you discovered why they don’t have a garden in Shrewsbury.

After 17 years of filling in the hole with dirt, the happy couple went up to the nearby bridge and threw in a stone with some writing on, to signify something I forget now. And then after watching Kristi come down the steep embankment in heels, we went back to the house, where the fun went further. (I’m going to skip a part of musical names and get to the good stuff)

You see, it also turns out that there are roles which have to be filled for the wedding. The first, is called a Stamp, and this stamp is a lady who kisses everyone at the wedding, without predudice. Nice. And things became even better for me, because I was the guy who got to judge which lady was the best kisser and who would be suited to the role.

Somebody pinch me.

Yep, the picture needed to be slightly bigger here, such is the level of joy…. 🙂

And after the lady was chosen, the next role was of security. The bride during the celebration often gets stolen by naughty people who then ransom her back to the groom for something, gold, porn mags, bits of lint, whatever they feel like. Guess who was nominated for that? And having failed miserably at the tasks to decide who should be security, I along with a estonian man, whose name escapes me, became security for Kristi.

It wasn’t pretty.

Other roles included a timekeeper, who shouted out what time it was to do things and a bloke who had to wave a flag around whenever there was something to celebrate, like the bride going missing. The event of which occurred far too many times to the point where I didn’t care, and just danced instead. Oh, there was someone whose role was to make sure people danced, which wasn’t hard actually. Everyone was up for a good time.

Every so often, the Estonians shouted something to make the bride and groom kiss, and it sounded like something else, so I joined in shouting “Ebay, Ebay”. Buggered if I knew what the words actually were. There were things about how much we knew about the couple, a poem type thing to the couple toasting them or something, (There was mention of the groom’s manhood in the first draft, but this was cut because the rest of the table didn’t want it) and there were many toasts, all drunken.

Kristi was stolen a couple more times, all times were ignored, there were nice fireworks which Steve set off, well lit, then ran away from, the cutting of the cake, Steve looking up women’s dresses, more dancing, in fact there were so many fantastic memories that I’m tempted to keep a lot of it all to myself, so at certain points I have a jolly good snigger, and no one else will know.

And in fact perhaps that is the perfect point to leave the party. After such a great day, something which was truly awesome, all this will serve as a reminder that in Eastern Europe, one of the best days two people would have in the couple of people they actually knew was had, and well, who am I to spoil it all out here?

A blogger actually, but we’ll skip that this time.