We’re all dead, or so would some of the press and scientists would have us all believe when a giant collection of metal donuts begin operating over on the European mainland on Wednesday, the day where hopefully other things will be happening which are less dangerous like farting in a lift, and people bungee jumping without a bungee rope.

Forget the terrorists, Americans, tubs of lard and clowns destroying us all and wiping us all from existence, it’s now nuclear physicists now who are the enemy. Soon they will switch on the Large Hadron Collider, which basically will send tiny bits of matter smashing against each other and then they see what happens.

It has cost billions of Euros, taken since 1994 to get to this point and the whole thing has been about seeing what happened just after the big bang with extra parts for anti-matter and dark matter thrown in for good measure.

One problem with this grand enterprise is that there are concerns that the machine will create forces which could destroy the earth and possibly the entire universe when it gets going.

Read that sentence again and just allow a few moments for it to sink in.

Destroy the entire universe.

As in the universe where Earth currently is.

Earth is where most of us live (I say most, who knows with some people).

If Earth or the universe is destroyed, that means we’re all gone too.

S**T.

Now also read this excerpt from the Telegraph, written by Roger Highfield, their resident science editor:

Such is the angst that the American Nobel prize winning physicist Frank Wilczek of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology has even had death threats, said Prof Brian Cox of Manchester University, adding: “Anyone who thinks the LHC will destroy the world is a t—.”

Who is Professor Brian Cox? Let’s have a picture to start:

There we are, the subject himself, posing for one of many pictures on his website. He’s one of the leading scientists working on the Large Hadron Collider, who has several achievements under his belt in the field and also a member of the High Energy Physics group at the University of Manchester. He’s presented many programmes and was a consultant on the film “Sunshine.”

However, allow me to respond to his comment, that anyone who thinks that this colossal machine will destroy the world is a t**t.

You’re a cheeky smarmy cu*t, and it appears your surname is well chosen.

Now, Paul, you magnificent creation, I hear you cry, you can’t just say that without some actual reason, can you?

Well, I suppose I can as this is my corner of the massive internet, but in reality the true reasons behind such a retort is simple.

People hear things about how this could destroy us, and frankly these concerns deserve merit to be heard, rather than dismissed out of hand. After all, this entire experiment is dealing with the unknown and no-one knows for certain what is going to happen.

CERN have been on the offensive over this, showing them as the best in everything, with numerous conferences, special sections on the BBC website, to the point where it appears anyone who would have issues with the whole project should be shot.

Some of the material has been hosted by the very Professor mentioned above, calling people tw*ts.

Just watch “The Big Bang Machine” on BBC 4 for instance, and perhaps you too will find that the wonderful part, the black hold bit which people are concerned about was mentioned for about 30 seconds, with the rest of the programme showing Mr Cox wandering around, giving grand voiceovers to colourful art smudges with sound fx, smiling a lot, being a happy camper while asking people about how excited they are.

Perhaps as a game, see how many times the people all say the words; Think, stuff and If.

The issues with the explanations stating why we are safe come from a report, also published by the people who are putting all this together, CERN so what bias is there we don’t know.

It relies on pure theoretical ideas, insisting that Black Holes if created within the machine would dissipate due to “Hawking Radiation”, a concept which as it stands, is still unproven by any current means. This suggests the following:

“F**ks knows, let’s just turn the bugger on and see what happens.”

That perhaps what gets people ruffled the most, and there also the possibility, which isn’t a hard stretch to reach, that Professor Cox likes being in the limelight, as during the programme he came across as being very happy that the cameras were focused on him, as he acted like a simple gimp, and not someone you would trust with your toenail clippings, let alone something of this magnitude.

How else can you explain that fact, he was giddy and extremely positive about the machine, perhaps even accepting he is proud of his work? Do they need to justify the huge expense? There is that, considering that in these times, there are more important things to sort out first rather than go on a jolly to smash tiny things together.

Should they also save face? These people are now the top in their field and if nothing comes of this, I dare say they will fear that they will lose their jobs. After all, what would they have to show for all this effort?

Perhaps this is an attempt to even to go as far as being bored and needing something to do; after all, He even stated during the programme, that Physics is stuck and the only thing left is to recreate the conditions of the Big Bang a fraction of a second after the beginning of creation. Hi ho, it’s off to work we go indeed.

And the benefits to people right now are hard to grasp. Let’s be fair, the LHC has a limited number of household applications at the moment, you can’t wash your car with it, you can’t use it to keep an eye on your kids, and also it doesn’t dump those bodies you’ve been meaning to get rid of at the river…err where was I going with that?

Looking back it’s plain to see that during the bulk of this content, there were a few personal attacks on Professor Cox.

The only reason why this ever started was for the simple fact that he dismissed people’s fears without even coming close to an actual answer as what would happen inside the machine and to add insults to that is entirely uncalled for. Therefore look upon this as a retort on behalf of those people unconvinced you know what you are doing.

That also means, yes, I’m a tw*t too.

I’m more than happy to meet up with you, Mr Cox if you wish to refute this and explain yourself, but if push comes to shove, if you do maintain that arrogant behaviour without any explanation, I’ll also shove some large metal particles up your arse and turn on another miracle of science, electricity.

An attitude like this opens the gates to shouting’s of “Luddites” and how throughout history people have often rebelled over what they don’t understand.

I’m open to grander things, that answers about existence will be revealed, that perhaps this will lead to a great discovery which will change the course of history, the way we think about existence and then quite rightly then, the people behind all this should all be congratulated and perhaps celebrated.

But right now, there are too many unanswered questions about an experiment dealing with the unknown. And when playing with things such as this, which even with the remote or “strange theory” that black holes could be created that could end all life, that still means there is the possibility.

The public need to be assured you know what you are doing, and judging from the content seen so far, It appears we’re f*cked, though not till October when they actually start the experiment properly, Wednesday in fact they just start it spinning stuff around for the cameras. If we’re still here, then there should be cake! Then the human race can carry on like before, doing it like they do on the Discovery Channel.

Wish I had some of the money spent on the bloody thing though.