Everyone, oh I do like to be beside the sea….oh never mind, it’s just something to try and lighten the mood given the fact that our weather system has come back with a vengeance. But it’s not bad news at all.

I rather like the rain myself, as I’ve said on a few occasions now, things feel fresher, it’s a lot cooler, and it keeps a lot of people away from you that smell. What’s not to like? Besides as human beings we can actually do something about the cold. We can put on other people’s clothes, and end up looking like the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters.

But when it’s hot and sticky like cream cheese, and the sweat pours through the layers of fat you’ve built up through years of neglect, what can you truly do about it? Wander around in the nude?

Well, I would suggest that course of action for the more attractive of the human race, but if you look like something that fell out of a dog’s bottom, please just don’t do it.

Now moving away from the generic commentary on the weather to something which, well, if you are eating while reading this blog, please look away now. I saw something which was both funny and gross at the same time; A dog being sick on the tube. And not just a bit, a lot. And afterwards it just lit up a fag to take the pain away along with a bowl full of whisky.

Normally you would think it rather ill of anyone to be speaking about a poor animal in a time of dire straits. We are apparently a nation of animal lovers, and the thought of any animal suffering brings tears streaming down the little kids cheeks just in time for Oxfam to make another commercial out of.

However there is a subtle twist. It was funny for the simple fact that everyone on the tiny tube thing was staring at this event, looking in both awe and disgust at the same time and this went on for the entire trip between Bank and Holborn.

It was almost like, the sheer fact of something happening on the tube which didn’t involve people asking for money, or being squeezed by large numbers of bodies, of which you should take as being bad in this case, was too much for the passengers on the mid morning journey and they were memorised by the entire thing.

Some were holding open a newspaper while watching, while others bounced their head to music but you would have thought their heads would bouncing to each event of Pedigree Chum being thrust onto the train floor. Paul McKenna couldn’t have done a better job of hypnotising! Granted it was weird watching people watching a dog but what the hell, it’s stuff like this which inspires you to think: Christ I need a hobby.

Speaking of needing a hobby, actually in a strange sort of way, perhaps I do need a hobby or at the very least return to my usual antics of sitting down and looking like a special person slumped over the chair.

You see, I have been a bit of a workholic recently, spending far too much time at work and then coming home and then sleeping not an awful lot, then repeating the cycle over the last few days. This perhaps explains more about the waffle which has been spilled upon this digital tome, after all, an adverture to find a tin opener and then the wonderful events of today? Good god! HELP ME! 🙂

It now occurs that I need to do something out and about to brake it all up. I’m not counting Facebook as a means of diversion as basically that truly is something designed to keep the masses entertained between seasons of Big Bother, though to be fair, a few old mates did message in, one of whom had buggered off to an island some time ago and now we have contact. Wonderful stuff!

There has also been some concern about the advert for Episode 4; does this mean there is some regret on my part about moving to London? Watch out for the new podcast when I’ve been bothered to record it and all shall be revealed. Well, put it this way, it’s not a Scooby Doo epsiode with a chase scene using the same background over and over. Actually that would add some class to the podcast. Hmm…..

Now coming back to the fact that I need to brake up the work stuff, towards the end of the month of course I am wandering back to reality again, not only to catch up with various people but also to see that little known band, REM once again, see all that time ago, you buy the ticket, have some fun involving sniper rifles and a rabbi, and low and behold, the concert’s round the corner. Isn’t that grand?

But perhaps as well, some more silliness needs to be done down here, to liven up the half-arsed people of London, to show them there is more to life than watching animals release liquids on the floor. I have done the whole casual ironing thing, so now I need a fresh challenge.

Come on campers, I am asking you, what should I do next? Turn up to the national gallery in a dressing gown and slippers? Chase after people with a cucumber? Do something else which wouldn’t result in me getting arrested? Leave a message after the tone and I’ll get back to you.