Well after an amazing week, you are probably expecting a giant cascade of a weekend out and about, living the high life, sipping fuzzy liquid while laughing at homeless people and asking them if they have any spare change just to get back at them.

Well……it didn’t really happen exactly like that.

You see, there comes a point where after being out every single night, you actually have had enough. Too much of a good thing is indeed possible and therefore, after presenting the second option in a previous blog post of watching Top Gear reruns while still in bed, guess what I did. Given the fact that three middle aged blokes not only make cars engaging to watch, but over the top funny as well, it’s more than worthy of mention upon this digital tome, and may it remain great for many years to come.

I even managed the freakishly difficult task of washing my own clothes, which as we know,normally the clothes have to be sent away to be decontaminated by a team of elite scientists who took it upon themselves to study my white shirt in order to find an explanation for global warming, while trying to beat back the beasts that lay within the fibres of the aforementioned garment.

Certainly a daunting task to say the least, but I have every confidence in them and their ability to scream out “Get back you animal” while being handy with a whip.

Of course, what man could possibly stay in at all while down on the dirty mean streets of London, where crime is rampant as well as sexy, where people like to start pretending they’re chickens, and where people pay money for the privilege of being shot out of a cannon?

Not I.

Of course a fatal attempt at yet another simple household task took place on the Saturday afternoon, shortly retrieving the last pair of underpants that still had no holes in them: shopping at ASDA.

Not for the faint hearted, ASDA has been the downfall of many a hapless shopper convinced that they will only be 5 minutes for a loaf of bread, only then to be destroyed by the horror of the trolley dash made by thousands of 2.4 families, all fighting over the last packet of Daz Ultra.

Time is drained away, you end up buying more than you needed in the first place and then get stuck in a mile long queue, just for the fast lane check out. If you have more than 5 items, and its game over. It’s a wonder that this tragedy doesn’t make the news more often. Perhaps even a campaign could be started by some pointless celebrity tw*t pretending to be more interesting than they really are, where they just ask for £5 a week to open up more tills to ease the suffering. Truly, it’s a concern for all mankind.

After being drained of all emotion and for some reason, some bodily liquids to boot, all was settled once more in time for the episode of Doctor Who, where in a time of crisis without the Doctor, the English would become Nazis. (You may need to watch it to get the reference) On the plus side, Billy Piper was in it, pre-pregnancy anyway. But to be fair, the best show to get you going is “Secret Diary of a Call Girl” in which she does very naughty things for money, thus removing the need for imagination. Great success.

Sunday was a great success too as it goes, as the gallant Lord of Leisure triumphed over the robotic forces of darkness and whatever else was going, playing the long-winded titled Penny Arcade game which was mentioned a while ago. A rich full day, and one of which, you feel like lighting up the cigarette again and asking “Was it good for you, darling?”

But wait, there’s more.

Sunday Evening was spent at the Comedy Store yet again, if only to see the likes of Paul Merton and Josie Lawrence playing around with each other on stage for our amusement. They are the Comedy Store Players after all (no, don’t groan, it’s not a bad joke once you re-read it). Alas to describe what went on would spoil the good humour, and frankly would have to rely on my bad memory, which would result in the world going wrong(er) and people panicking in the streets.

And to round things back off, more Top Gear was had from the brand new series which just started on BBC 2 if you are fortunate enough to watch. Damn, just can’t get away from it, and on that huge gushing bombshell, it’s time to end the entry. Good night! 🙂