The past couple of days have been filled with a sense of realisation, slight dread, sweating and confusion. And no, it wasn’t due to naughty with a lady.

It appears reality has begun settling into the current situation and so far it’s been strange, especially today. Today was the first day of the new workplace and it’s been a long time since the last proper “First Day”.

You have a mixture of excitement and excrement all building up at the same time, all the while questions such as “What’s it like?” “Will they like me?” and “Why does my armpit smell despite using BO Basher?” keep popping into your head like…..er….things popping into your head.

It appears the gift for language is lost on me again.

But the upside of any silliness today, which was after the sense of “Hello, I’ll just stand over here” and “What should I do now?” had died down, the tiredness which had plagued me for so long had gone away.

Granted, it may only be a temporary respite due to the change in, well, everything, but perhaps if it is long term, the driving aspect to and from work truly was taking a toll on my body and therefore perhaps this may have actually been a better move just on that merit alone.

Unless my nerves kick in again like it did earlier, while travelling on the tube, all of a sudden, a huge wave of feeling that something bad was about to happen swept over me, where in fact nothing actually did. Once I left the tube train and was once again stood on a platform, it went away.

It was so irrational at the time that I still cannot explain it now. There was no such feeling before despite the countless tube journeys before today. Perhaps the Lord of Leisure has been bitten by a radioactive spider and now his spider senses are tingling.

It’s very odd to be writing such things at the present moment, as life is currently filled with uncertainty but it actually makes sense to me to write it down. Perhaps the moment will pass after the 12th pot noodle goes down a treat.