Despite the lumbering and erotic advances from the yetis of Tokalow for dinner and a movie, Paul has remained stead-fast in the wilderness of the Arctic tundra, ploughing his way through endless screenshots of a system that will never see the light of day and destroying yet another batch of pot noodles to keep the spirits and also the local Sainsburys supermarket alive. Paul has also got confused as to why most of the writing recently has referred to himself in the third person.

However the weekend did offer a respite from the dullness, as three hardened travellers made their merry way down to the lordly manor house,Glyn, Kelly and G’s Mummy. It was scary in some respects as not many people visit the hallowed grounds of the Lord of Leisure, and thus the handsome but portly gentleman didn’t have a clue as to how to entertain.

Generally what tends to happen these days is that for the first hour or so, it’s all chatting away, and then afterwards you resort to talking about the weatherfor about 5 minutes after which all the tricks are used up, what can do you do?

But as a taster of the local Shropshire cuisine, we meandered and dilly-dallied off to the Indian restaurant, where many nice curry type dishes were to be had along with alcohol and chatter about naughtiness which was afoot.

The food was good as usual, but for the first time since we had been frequenting said establishment, it was a wee bit late in arriving. Perhaps the moons were aligned the wrong way of something which caused the ovens to brake, who can say? It’s one of those things.

Things picked up later on Saturday after a nice lie-in and a full frothy English breakfast which the heart started screaming at the sight of said health destroying product and asked for a blindfold. Seeing as I am still alive for the moment, it appears to have not have had the result the little fella feared would happen.

The three amigos had come later after a nice episode in the hotel where there was constant banging….WAIT A MINUTE! Constant Banging in a hotel?!?!? I sense treachery afoot. We had set off for Shrewsbury to sample some of the delights, well they had, I needed to drop the Lady of Leisure at her country retreat. (Country Retreat sounds a hell of a lot better don’t you agree?)

No sooner had I said goodbye to a tree after hugging it, than I received a phone call stating a retreat from the rain was in order. It was the quickest time that anyone had got sick of Shrewsbury at 17 minutes but hey ho, these are the times we live in. After a quick getaway, we arrived back at the manor house for tea and crumpets and whatever else we English people do these days,and proceeded to keep on chatting away to the hours gone to 10pm, having feasted on takeaway earlier and having a showcase of the Peep Show from Channel 4 to tempt me in watching more of it.

The episodes they chose were very good, but the others after watching them, were not so good. In case you’re wondering, it’s about two chaps who live in flat who are quite different with a multitude of silly things happening such as saying someone’s sister has cancer when she doesn’t, and questioning one’s sexuality (I love you Johnson) as you do.

It all ended on Saturday night, and we said our farewells. Cue dramatic music with someone crying, “NOOOOOOOO!”

Sunday was spent mainly typing away, and studying for exams. While occasionally watching naughty things such as the film that Daniel Day Lewis won that gold statue thing for, There will be cake, I mean, Blood or is it There is blood. Blood’s in the title but due to my natural laziness, I have failed to muster the energy to type into Google what the film is called. Anyway, it’s about a man striking oil who turns naughty, and takes pleasure in suffering.

Sounds perfectly normal doesn’t it? However this film served to show how one man hates everyone and how it seems he wins in the end. Here’s what will happen if you watch the film: You will hate the character called Eli, because he’s an arsehole the size of Mount Olympus, you feel sorry for the son, and you think Daniel Day Lewis needs to have a hug and a cup of tea. The End.

Also beware as he may try to drink your milkshake. The phrase actually is “I drink your milkshake!” from when Daniel Day Lewis was mocking the silly vicar bloke for being a failure and then proceeded to illustrate his skill at extracting oil. The phrase should be on a t-shirt as it’s quite funny!

Aside from the funny line, the film didn’t really go down well unlike a high class lady of the evening, so you kind of wonder if this sort of thing is what the entertainment people want to see. It wasn’t entertaining, it was more of the “saggy pants” See it if you want, but you have been warned.

The rest of the week so far seeing as I have been at home for the first time in what seems like ages, instead of dragging myself to Telford every day. This change of pace has brought a mixture of sleep, tea and sitting at the keyboard every day, creating falsehoods and destroying the fabric of reality around us. This is set to continue until next week when I return for a day and a half at work before running away again for a long weekend. Which is nice.

At the moment, I’m rather happy with what I’ve been doing, I feel revitalised, like I could sing….nah, forget the singing. But for more therputic reasons, I’ve taken some time out to wander around the local town, blessing the little people with my presence, to see what happens in the real world as opposed to mealy peering out the window, cursing the whole of humanity and throwing my faeces at passers by.

I went to the gym for the first time in ages, and frankly I need a cigar to ease the pain of being so out of shape. Damn, it was hard work, no matter how much I tried, I had to wait for someone to open the door for me. Methinks more trips will be required so my majesty can once again be used on doors at will.

In truth, being at home, instead of lots of people around me, haivng the option to do whatever I want….you wish it was like this every week. Ah, a man can dream. But normally it’s about ladies doing the dirty. Or watching cool bits from action films.

I have been working on the Podcast too, along with another disease ridden advert to appear on the Gamer’s WIth Jobs podcast. What applause awaits I wonder. Until next time, which knowing my luck will be next year at the rate of which these updates are being produced, Have fun.