It’s been 25 days since I ventured into the arctic tundra of solace, to be at one with nature and maybe do some work. As the days go past, my thoughts begin to wander to past glories from last year, all those obstacles that I was to overcome, the climbing of Mount Olympus, the repeated sex scandals, defeat of the white whale to avenge my grandfather, and occasionally Glastonbury.

Food’s getting scarce now, I’m down to my last 17,000 tons of pies with mash and 180 containers of teabags with accompanying milk. Solitude can be a strange mistress, the mind wanes for life, and last night I swear that voices were heard through the wind, almost like it was beckoning me on, to succeed and survive (No, you b*****d, I want you to freeze your man sacks off! – Wind).

OK, so aside from that dilly-dallying, I’m sad to report that nothing much in terms of anything interesting has changed over the past few days, the work ever more continues, the dullness have become a naughty foe, throwing eggs at me and slashing the tyres of my car because it knows I can’t do anything about it for the time being.

But it’s not all typing useless rubbish which serves no purpose ultimately, there’s a slight flip side.

The Lord of Leisure (title temporarily suspended pending investigation of fraud) made a guest appearance out in Shrewsbury the weekend, much to the surprise of many and was mobbed by people of all creeds, all supporting the Lord in his hour of need. “We know you’re lazy really!” cried one onlooker and “I want your children!” shouted another. After signing some babies and kissing autographs, the great one parted the sea of joyous disciples, to sit down with two attractive ladies of the day with a steaming pile of brown stuff.

No he hadn’t dropped the trousers and had a manly accident, it was coffee at one of those special shops that the coverted Lord had moaned about so long ago, yet he has been converted. Brothers, welcome him onto your latte bosom and ask for forgiveness for he was blind but now he sees. The conclusion you only can reach is: it’s most peculiar that if you venture into those shops of the bean enough, you get used to them and start liking them too much. It’s insidious.

But alas, as dashing as he is the world’s strongest billionaire, the Lord himself remained troubled. The company of two ladies of the day was not enough to put out the flames of woe. And after a brief period, he parted company from them, and made his way back to the arctic tundra, forever sure that it would consume him for all time. (Insert laugh typical of a Bond villain here after James says “You’ll never get away with whatever.”)

Real world translation: I met Natalie and Lora for coffee and was still down so left them alone to have a girls night in, while I carried on typing away. What an numpty…

The forth coming weekend beckons a welcome change of pace, as I venture outward into the world once more with chums of varying descriptions, to laugh, cry probably some talk about things which will end the world again, like the super collider thingy sitting underneath Belgium or wherever the bloody hell it is, and not thinking about doing nothing but work for a wee while.
Which will be nice.

And the forthcoming week will be spent at home, mainly and this is a big hope completing much of the degree work which means the rest of the time left till the end of May should be easy, and the world will make sense again. Hopefully anyway.

The liberty was taken in playing some more Team Fortress 2 the weekend with some GWJers (or Goodjers I think, what the hell) at 2am Sunday morning after finishing up the last screenshot for the “testing” of my fine “work-based in name only it seems” project. My, there’s a lot of “putting things in speech marks” this post, one may conclude that I have found the button which makes those funny things.

And to keep some of you interested while the Lord of Leisure is out among the penguins, here’s a picture of Jessica Biel in a shamefully erotic pose designed to make you play with yourself while no-one’s looking:

If I didn’t say it, no-one else would.