In a rather more strange, romantic and yet still something which will make you throw up if you hate the whole idea of men and women being together twist of fate, instead of eating far too much in Shropshire with the family, talking about each other’s work habits, sitting down the pub for three hours on Christmas Day, and then coming back to eat even more to only collapse in front of the TV watching the Christmas edition of Doctor Who, this year took a different slant.

This year, the festive day would take place somewhere else. Somewhere in Europe. Already things are looking down. But fear not gentle readers, it’s not Brussels, filled with smelly European MPs signing us all up for the not-a-constitution and we were outside protesting by tying ourselves to trees.

It was in fact, the historical capital city of the Czech Republic, Prague. Filled with architecture, culture, and various adventures for stag parties, Prague has been attracting visitors for years and somewhere to go to let yourself go, and marvel at its stately homes, concert halls and film locations.

That’s the travel guide b******ks over with. Time for the reality of Prague and what’s it now like.

The crew for the trip:

Natalie, the lady of leisure travelling with me through time and space (the fiesta’s the closest thing to the Tardis I have, and it’s bigger on the inside than on the outside, by about 3 cm) and unlike doctor who, she’s not going to disappear into an alternate reality only to reappear as a guest star later in Series 4.

Paul, the Lord of Leisure. Some say he can sleep for up to 40 hours in a blizzard. Others say he successfully defeated the Chinese Army with a pot of tea and some toast. And then there is everyone else who will tell you he makes a lot of things up.

The manifest complete, let us begin with some pictures here ready, while other larger pictures can be viewed via various hyperlinks throughout the post. There were quite a number of photos that I wanted to post but there’s not enough room, and there will be a full album posted online soon for you all to enjoy.

But we begin our journey out on Christmas Eve, boarding the airplane at Birmingham to take us to our eventual destination and we got there about 1 in the afternoon, local time. The flight’s only an hour and 50 minutes which is grand as I hate flying now, turbulance is the worst part. We got to trying a few games of poker with Natalie doing the best, she’s a real card shark now, damn her for robbing of those little plastic tiddlewink things. Ah well, after that silliness, we got wrapped up completely for the cold front we would have awaiting us outside in the new land.

Now to reach the center, the buses to and from Devijka are regular (that’s the 119 for those who want to try themselves) and the metro station here is where you change for the underground around the city center. One of the things as you are travelling through the outskirts, is the graffiti sprayed everywhere, and the old soviet style buildings which, if you are a geek, you get the amazing feeling of déjà vu.

At least if you have played the game Half-Life 2. Every so often around the city I had the feeling that a strider was going to come around the corner or a head crab was planning to hump my head. The problem was that the game was set in an eastern European city and you see where they got so many of the design ideas from, it was all around you as you walk the streets.
I need to get out more.

And what a better place to do that than Prague.

The place itself seems to have not changed that much in many years, the buildings seemed to be of years past in different times, with a mixture of old and new. The main part of Prague has been essentially turned into a massive shopping spree, with brand name, after brand name lining all the streets meaning if that’s your fetish, you’ll be very happy. Except for the 24th to the 26th of December because for the Czech Republic, it’s a national holiday.

But amazingly there are still plenty of places to go while some of the locals take a rest from the usual naughty which it seems is the norm wherever you go. Because of the huge number of tourists, a fair number of the restaurants remained open waiting for your money. And they were earning by the bucket load.

One of the illusions that everyone has been hearing, is that everything in Prague is cheap compared to here in the UK. Well either it’s was Christmas or that’s a big pile of the brown stuff. It was very hard to find even a cup of tea or coffee below 90CZK (which comes roughly to £2.40) so other things for meals etc soon add up.

Its success has driven up the prices, the Czechs have wisent up to the pulling power of their city and they are using it. So if you are going there for full on fun, make sure you have more than enough money. This story may be different to other parts of the country but you have to go there yourselves.

The hotel was fantastically clean, and with breakfast included, it was a real bonus not have to wander far for lovely num-nums. It was located somewhere by the national museum which in turn is right next to the big shopping bits where you get all sorts of tat depending on whether or not you can’t really do without that mug that says Prague on it.

All within a few minutes walk which is grand. What more can you ask for? (aside from heated walkways all the way there.) Very good value for money, for christmas time, and we would stay at the place again. The problem is, I can’t remember what the bloody place was called now! Damn my memory of…something.

As for the local cuisine it really does range from the “domestic delights” of McDonalds and KFC which dotted the place all over, and bless them, they were working diligently during Christmas day as well. That heart failure waits for no-one.

But if like, everyone else, you actually wanted to try some of the more traditional food on offer, there are some real nice places to go. There was this nice place on the corner by the national gallery, which offered the best goulash and cutlets you will ever feast on, for far cheaper prices than most of the places we found on our travels, and the amounts you are used to eating in Britain for instance, well forget that. Czech food it appears fills you far better and for far longer, and this is something you never thought you’d read here.

They do wonders with cabbage.

Ok, moving on, one last note, if you are a vegetarian then you will be making a bee line for the closet vomit bag as there is meat everywhere. The little kiosks selling the sausages line parts of Prague and most of the places, unless you go to the bigger places catering for international people, stick to meat on the menu. Mmm….dirty meat!

Now then, the good bits. We spent Christmas day wandering around the main area of the city, the evil Natazuki in full swing absorbing all the sights, well there was one that she didn’t really want to absorb.

The river is one of the nicer places to walk along, and it was walking to the older side of town, that Natalie wandered into an Art Gallery ran by an Ukrainian and a Russian (well a man from Georgia who spoke Russian and well I can’t really say Georgian, what is he, from the 18th Century?), and we were invited in to enjoy some of the art, to have a look, and enjoy some fine vodka. It just turned into a general chat about many things, while having more vodka, and I tell you what, they were extremely friendly and funny.

The Russian had a fair few views on the ladies which seem to mirror what goes on here. So not so different…. 🙂 We were invited back for a New Year’s Eve bash for drinking far too much and chatting with many people, and another time, we would be back. Their gallery has a net address: http://www.zuzuk.cz so take a look and see what you think. One of the highlights of the trip for sure.

Prague looks really nice at night and it was while wondering around at night, we got tickets for an concert on Christmas day, to sample of the finer music (regretfully not more of the Kaiser Chiefs) in one of the more posh halls and halfway through, they started playing the Hovis Advert music, and all I got running through my head was bakers born and bred. Oo eck is like.

There was also something else which caught my eye, and I had to say something about this. Prague has a museum of Communism (ah the good old days, so many bond villains, so many memories.) and one of the signs had been twisted to point to the McDonalds right next door. Who says people don’t have a sense of humour? 🙂

Along with museums with sense of humour, the national museum has some very interesting “exhibits” like a big foot you walk through, a world war tent with places to bomb. Skeletons of monkeys, a sailing ship for no real reason, some medals and rocks. Lots and lots of rocks. If I pulled some poses like Bruce Forsyth, I could have been the main piece. It was worth it just to see the look on Natalie’s face. The MasterCard adverts have the right word.

So after all is said and done, what is Prague during Christmas? Very nice, cold and expensive. The few days spent there in hind sight now was enough time there, and another time of year with other plans may be warranted, but the finances need to recover first. What’s more I had a good time with a sexy lady.

It’s a Nice!