Well campers, it appears we have had yet another weekend filled with exciting things all to fill our boots with joy juice. And the postmen are no longer going to be on strike!!! Well done for settling it despite the fact that the high court said you couldn’t strike next week anyway and your time for making a deal was over….. that almost sounds cynical, doesn’t it?

But never the less, it is good that the whole mess was sorted out, which can only benefit us all, as I await very important mail vital to the continued success of this entire operation…. a Mr. Potato Head and a copy of Airplane which was obtained very cheaply.

Without these items, ooh sometimes would have disintegrated into dust, the people who depend upon it for a brief pause in the hardships of modern life in tatters. The Middle east peace process would have been torn down, opening the floodgates on all out war.

Oil reserves would have dried up forcing those who tried to force the hydrogen powered cars out of the public domain to say sorry and ask “What was I thinking?” England would have lost in both the rugby and football yesterday, sending hundreds of thousands of fans onto the streets, rioting over who had the most up-to-date replica shirts. The Internet would have simply shut down, sending all of us back to the stone age where we survive by killing things with big teeth and using their legs for guitars. Or something….

Look it’s up there with Ol’ Hussians’ war crimes. It was that serious.

But alas with the news that all is well in the postal world, we have avoided living in a Mad Max landscape. And with that news we turn to more pressing matters of state. And that is why are people now walking around blaring music out of their mobile phones? And when i say people, I mean little s**ts who think everyone should be able to love the same music that they do and therefore fell obliged to share said music with the wandering masses.

Now I didn’t even think anything of this stuff until yesterday while wandering myself in Shrewsbury. I had been there simply to take care of a few things and wander into the Bang & Olufsen shop there, and well it was just to see what kind of electrical kit they had to offer for a meagre person such as myself. And well, their equipment was impressive.

However £6,400 for a 32in tv with built-in DVD player is a wee bit out of my current budget. The current budget of course being £6.50 and some big bags of crisps.

But I digress. There were big groups yesterday all with different music being broadcast at the same time, and well I wouldn’t mind if it was decent music like the Killers. But whatever that horses**t was, it wasn’t music I had ever heard of, even though I am only 25 and yes, indeed the peak of manlyness (is that a word?), but even I want to just go up to them, take their phone of them and jump on the damn thing till it gives out the Nokia tune of death.

Some people don’t want to hear that sort of thing, and frankly it doesn’t give a very good impression of those guys. So sayeth the very old guy in me, who needs his bag changing and for someone to take him for a walk.

There we are, just a little rant for this fine Sunday evening’s post. I feel it’s my civic duty to moan. After all, I’m English and therefore it’s built-in to my DNA. We live therefore we moan.

But I know what you are thinking: “Paul, you fine example of how people should live their life and therefore if I am a woman, I should be giving birth to your children. Some people think that’s a bad thing in life, that suggests that they are the kind of people who look for things to nitpick, and maybe that also calls into play the fact that they may be unhappy in themselves and can’t carry on with their own business.”

And you would be exactly right. But the fact is we all need something to moan about. It’s something to talk about at many points, in the pub, in the toilet, in the church and also in the boot of a car. We all need something otherwise just picture conversations:

Man: Hey, how are you?
Woman: I’m fine, and you?
Man: How about the weather?
Woman: It’s grand as it goes!
Man: That’s true, and things going ok?
Woman: Yes indeed, best ever!
Man: Sure?
Woman: Oh yes, very sure.
Man: OK then….that’s a nice blouse…..

And so on. Do you notice that there was nothing wrong, and therefore the conversation drifted off to the woman’s blouse and eventually they end up having a torrid affair using staplers and a unicycle? How can we let go of moaning? It’s the only way some people talk to one another for crying out loud! And stops office affairs too. Businesses take heed.