The problem with everything is everything has a problem with it in the first place.

Quite a profound sentence there isn’t it? This could lead onto some discovery about the shape of things to come for human society and the ultimate truth of no matter what people do to create working products, they will flawed due to the flawed nature of all living beings.

We could also remark on the futility of existence in the fact that we will follow the same program, we are born, we mate with the others, have kids, we die and decompose into nothing, they go on having kids etc and that is the whole point of life. Life is designed so that everything was created for the purpose of impressing the opposite sex into bed therefore keeping the cycle going.

But the blog isn’t that type of thing! 🙂

LOL!! I’m sorry but I couldn’t help myself. It was just something you expect from educated (or those who read something off the internet) people over dinner parties where it gets to the point of the evening where a bit too much wine has had and this kind of drivel is spilled out all over the place just like the gravy served with the rice pudding. Everyone agrees and goes home and think what a load of b******ks.

This place is meant to be light hearted, a refuge from the harsh world we live in, where we forget the things which matter and read about all the rubbish of what I do, and people can come away safe in the knowledge that their life is better. Well I am paid by the government to do this, it’s part of feeling that Britain isn’t that bad.

And on that bombshell It’s time to start the lesson!

I achieved something which most people can only dream of today. It was the peak of human achievement and my legacy shall be passed on through the ages. I went to the gym.

Stop laughing.

You see I had joined the great number of people who have a gym membership but the last time they used it was 1987 at the time there was no real internet. This was always a thing to say to people, that you went to the gym, and say look I have a membership card and everything.

Though it always looks like the person saying it is one pork pie away from needing help from Noel Edmunds at Christmas to be airlifted to Hospital. But after a disturbing view of my stomach, aided by watching Run, Fatboy, Run! I decided to actually use it. And it only confirmed what I already knew. I have the heart of a 90-year old and it’s been given the last rights.

And I know it will only get worse, because as we all know when we get older, our body gives up and says you’re fat, deal with it. And actually that does mean this gives rise to the entire fighting fat empire where we are promised the earth and a body which could even win over Jessica Biel or some attractive man (maybe even me! that’s for the ladies out there!) and we have plenty of self help books by Paul Mckenna to aid you lose weight, gain confidence and now he can even make you rich!

WOW! What sane person would actually buy this only be disappointed at the lack of results?

That’ll be me then!

We have weight supplements, guides, dieticians, books, magazines, CDs, DVDs, herbs, sports shops, experts, celebrities, food councils, slogans, promises, all relating to the ideal person you are meant to be. But surely it all comes down to will power, the fact that the end of the day it comes down to the type of person you are and whether or not you have the will to do something about it.

You can try all sorts, but in the end it is all about what you do. Now having said this award winning piece of advice of which surely I could win a luxury weekend in a spa from the Take-a-break magazine, when it comes down to it I generally am very lazy and would be more than happy sitting in front of the computer watching TV and playing games.

That would be my lot in life if I were left to my own devices and there was nothing else. But the problem is, there is something else. I want to be able to move about without issue into my late life. I want to actually think that some women out there could find me worthy of allowing into their inner sanctum. All this relates to my health and the sad fact is if I don’t do things about the general state of my health, it only gets worse for me.

There are things which would motivate me yet my nature of being the Lord of Leisure is at odds with this notion. Add to the fact that too much exercise for the frame of body different people have, can cause the very problems later in life you would face without exercising. Rock. Hard place.

Well hell, I will try and do something about it again. But with the track record so far of 5 days in the week that I start out doing the right thing then it all goes wrong and I end up eating lots of s**t feeling better for 30 seconds.

Now you could get into the whole arena of eating because I am depressed and therefore the whole comfort eating thing comes into play. I guess that’s true and it has become a habit. Maybe the best thing for me to do is to locked away in a health farm for 4 weeks and then I really have no choice. Mind you the best choice for me is just to be locked up. mmm, padded walls are my friend.

And not only that, after the Gym today, Dave came around from North Wales wanting to see my PC (no, for those at the back that is not a euphemism) he is getting a uber beast of a machine for all the good stuff like the gaming things that we geeks get addicted to. I introduced the thrill of the show Californication to him and he loved it, by the way, that show is coming to Channel 5 next month. Please please look out for it.

It was a refreshing change and being honest it’s good to have friends around the place. One day I hope to have a proper place where people can actually come around whenever and it wouldn’t be a problem. Then again I hope to own the Playboy Palace one day and well life makes a fool of us all!

That is all. Go forth good campers and enjoy the fruits of other people’s labour. BYE!!!!